2008 SIDS Walk

I want to thank everyone for showing us so much support!! We had a great time at the SIDS walk! It was very bittersweet.



My friend, Christi. She drove all the way up to Mason City to support me. She dropped everything with little info of what was going on the morning Andy died and came to watch the girls while we were at the hospital with him. She is the most amazing friend. She drove over to bring me cheddar bay biscuits when I was having one of those pregnant cravings. She's always here to talk to. I love her.

But, let's play a game - how many chins does Amie have? and Christi - how do you get your teeth so white??

and here is the balloon release - we had a welcome and memorial time for our babies and then released the balloons. as I watched them fly up into the cloudless blue sky, I was overwhelmed. Harry and I held each other and sobbed. I understood where Andy was. I watched the many balloons floating together and I was amazed - that's too many babies.

They had popcorn, snow cones, face/hand painting, air-jumping for the kids, and...

Raffles. My girls won this girly basket with lots of summer activities - they chased bubbles for a good 20 minutes after opening it.

As I watched the line of many many people in front of us during the walk, and babies names on posters along the path, I just walked with tears. Where have these people been? What is their story? Which baby brought them there that day? How old was their baby?
How can this many babies just die in their sleep? And I realized that someone had to find each of these babies lifeless in what was supposed to be a refreshing rest. And so it began - for each one of these families - this sudden whirlwind of disbelief and doubt. That paralizing reality. I knew with my brain that I was not the only one - but being there made my heart agree. This and the balloon release were my favorite parts.

I have such a blessing for a family - for making sure my girls were taken care of on a very emotional day. For dropping everything else and coming to show their support - for the donations they received, as well as their own for SIDS, for standing together for us every step of the way, I could go on and on.......I just love them.

Brenda and Stacy - Crack me up.

I got to meet so many friendly, great people. The whole day was an enormous blessing!

I Laughed So Hard I Cried.

Click on the picture for a zoom-in. It is so me. :)

Sleepy Head

I have been struggling with sleep. There. I said it.
Scenario 1: I have too much to do during the day that by the time night comes, I feel like sitting at my craft desk to have some down time - or putzing around the house putting it in somewhat of an order. Some Amie time. Recompose myself and think about the day and what tomorrow's day will bring. the problem with this is that I feel a little sleepy and finally look at the clock and it says something like 2:38 am. And I think Oh! Harry will be up in 2 1/2 hours. I better go to bed. The kids will be up in 4 1/2 hours. then when I wake up I am reminded of the morning Andy died and opening my eyes and seeing him already gone. Hear a child awake and I think "oh no - what did I miss?"

Scenario 2: I decide to go to bed on time (10). But I lay in bed and twiddle my thumbs, pick on Harry, or count all the shiny mirror things scattered on my ceiling. Usually end up crying. This is the perfect condition to lay in bed and think about "my feelings". Ugh. I, quite honestly, try to stay busy enough that this won't happen. Most often I think about Andy. What I should have/could have done. But where he is. And how hard some days are. Women's emotions + Sleeping husband = trouble.

I have been waking up with Harry for 2 whole days, and I can actually see a progress in my house! But sometimes, I long for sleep. A good night's sleep with no crying. No having to hold back emotions. No nightmares. No helpless feeling when I open my eyes in the morning. Then I read this today.

Proverbs 20:13 Do not love sleep or you will grow poor;
stay awake and you will have food to spare.

And you know how I like food to spare. that means more cooking and baking. and you can't beat that.

SIDS Walk

Hello, all.

I am taking part in a SIDS walk on Saturday, August 23rd in Mason City . As I'm sure you know, my son died of SIDS in January at just 6 weeks old, and I think this is a great opportunity to raise money for SIDS research.

I am so excited to meet other SIDS parents in person and celebrate the lives of our babies, and come together to help save all the babies we can! I have attached a link to the organization’s website in case you would like more information regarding the walk:

http://www.iowasids.org/Events/WalkInfo.htm

If you would like to make a donation, you may send me a check made payable to The Iowa SIDS Foundation. Every little bit helps, but certainly don’t feel obligated to do so. I will be taking any donations with me on Saturday; however I can forward anything after Saturday directly to the foundation. I would be more than happy to pick up any donations as well!

You can e-mail me at IowaMother@yahoo.com with any questions! Thank you so much!!!

Vacation Truths

We were on vacation this week! Thank you, Mom and Dad!

*Sandcastles rock. And becoming a sand mermaid is even better - but requires quite the bath afterwards.
*Cinnamon Bun creamer tames down the gas station coffee taste. I kept it close.
*Dunkin' Donuts Decaf causes caffeine withdrawals - is that spelled the same as a bank transaction? Whatever.
*Life vests do not prevent children from sticking their face in water and breathing anyway.
*There is nothing like a warm fire on a breezy evening and a gooshy marshmallow.
*A jetski can indent if it hits the dock just right.
*An 18 month old little girl can walk right into the metal bottom of a ping pong table and have a lifetime scar - (let's hope not)
*Boys pick on girls when they are away from work for too long.
Naptime is negotiable.
*It's time for Mom to get rid of her wedding gift crock pot. I have her name for Christmas..........
*1 cent tootsie rolls and 5 cent gummies really do still exist.
*No rules for a week can do things to a kid....especially damaging a week before school starts.
*My dad bought a Wii. and Mom let him....meaning.....didn't make him take it back to the store for a full refund.
*"I have to go potty" means NOW.
*Scrapbooking stores make me grin.
*Family is lovely.

And the laundry starts........
And the SIDS walk is in one week.........

Dog Treats

Went outside today and found my 18 month old eating Sadie's dog food. Then Olivia was dropping the pebbled food through a hole in the top of the porch swing landing on her brother's head.

Went back in the house for about 20 minutes, and I kept hearing the door opening and a bag rustle and door opening again. So after the third or fourth time, I asked them what they were doing. "Oh, just giving Sadie a dog treat."

"Okay. Just not all at once, okay?"

"Okay" and then seconds later in a somber voice "I have your meal, Prisoner."

Smile and shake my head - could have been keeping Sadie hostage, or feeding the treats to Stacy - hard to tell.

Greetings

I have been spending most extra minutes I have in front of my craft desk. I am making greeting cards! :) LOVE it! and with glue sticks 22 cents per 2-pack, I'm getting by pretty cheap my friends.

I will be selling these cards in a craft show. I'd like to bundle them in 10-packs. So in that 10, we have:

uplifting
anniversary/wedding
2thank you
2birthday
celebrate/enjoy
sympathy
get well
just a hello
congratulations
graduation

doesn't add up to 10, I know.
now for holidays.....separate holidays greeting pack? My question to you is:

What cards would most likely use all of - give me your perfect 10 pack!

Back to James we go.

3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Who are the peacemakers? There has been some debate. I would like to go back to work in an office. Harry would like to be away from his job - and be home. We both have guilt of Andy's death. He wishes he would have been here, and I was here but was unable to save him.

Not a whole lot of people can grasp this idea, nor do I expect them to. Would I be okay going back to work? My inadequate feelings say YES. Would I make as much money as my husband does? Minus child support, maybe. We would make it. He would still work a little - fixing cars or eBay or work-at-home type things....honestly, he is incabable of Not working. It's just not in him. But there is plenty of lack-of-housework around here that he could catch up for me. :)

Harry is a great daddy. The one God said I belong with, and my perfect match. And in this whirlwind that is passing, we can both agree on a crazy idea. One that not many understand. However, we both feel this situation would be submissive to God. Not many people believe in the ways of the Word anymore. These worldly views on how a household is run is rubbish, my friends. No, there's not much in the bible about men staying home with his kids. Or about women leaving the home - to an office - to provide for her families needs. I get that. And he won't be perfect at staying at home - and I won't be perfect working outside the home. It will require helping each other.

Harry has been looking for stay-at-home work since I've known him. And long before that, I'm sure. He loves what he does, but there's something that calls him elsewhere. And by me being his wife, his helper, maybe I can help - and we both do what we think we are being called to do. Not many doors and windows have opened, but there are plenty closing! And there is one opening right around the corner, I'm quite sure. Marriage is TEAMwork, and as we became One that day - we are in this for the long haul - helping each other through on the path leading to eternity, whether it is here or there.

Where do we belong from 6am to 5 pm? To Be Determined. How important is acceptance and their understanding from others when you are going where God tells you to go? I guess both Harry and I have some learning to do in the near future - good thing we can do it together, though.

Packing

Went to Minnesota last weekend and had my parents take over the whole parenting bit. :) But when I pack for such a weekend, my bags are ready at LEAST 24 hours before we leave - minus toothbrush and things we will use up until the time we leave, of course.

So this weekend we are going to Keokuk. So bring on the laundry! And. Today. I. Pack. For. Six.

And if something - ANYthing is forgotten . . . guess who's fault it is - MOM's! And to the store we will go. . . within reason.

"Just In Case" is my packing method. lol, I am an overpacker. Just in case it rains, we will need ______. And just in case we go out at night, we will need _______. Oh, and it will probably be hot most days, so we will probably need 3 short outfits. And you have to plan for a couple spills on those 3 outfits, so we might just need to bring a couple more. Bandaids JIC, check. Medications JIC, check. Something to do if we ever get bored JIC, check. Swimwear including swim diapers and floaties JIC, check. Gardening and cardmaking magazine for the ride down and back JIC, check. Snorkel gear JIC we see some dolphins and rare fish in Iowa, check.

I Love James!

No, no - it's nothing like that.

1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

We had this verse read at Andy's funeral - and it still pierces my heart. Pure joy in the midst of all this? Amazing....


1:15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Gardening gives me special insight on full-grown.....SIN can be full-grown. I remember being there.

1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Slow to become angry. So, when my girls are slapping each other back and forth I should be slow to get angry. And when I have heard this argument of "he/she's not helping me pick up!" "She's looking at me!". Slow, slow, slow.

I could live in the world of James - he just really "got" this whole deal.....fluent, I know. My favorite book of the bible - james. You're lucky I just posted about the first chapter. :)

Laundry Day

So, Darin comes into the laundry room today and hands me his pj pants. "Here. Can you wash these?" These - as in specifically that one pair of pants.

Slowly answer "Why...?"
"Oh, (shrug) uhhh, because, ...." then holds them up to show me this brown smudge about the size of my one year old.

"What happened?"

"Well, I was eating one of those ice cream treats in bed last night and I fell asleep."

"Uhh, is it all over your bed too?"

"um, I dont' think so."

"Can you go check please?"

"Uhh.....yeah." Comes back down the stairs and says "Ya, the sheets are dirty too."

"Okay....................Would you bring those down for me to wash with the pants, too?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Just bought a new pack of paper plates last night and this morning as I went to put eggs onto a plate for all the little children, the plate package was already opened. I should have KNOWN! That Daddy.....owes me a new bottle of Shout!.

Who said the kids could eat ice cream in the living room and bedrooms when Daddy gives them a wink?? That would explain why my laptop keyboard was sticky last week......

Word of the Day

Dictionary Word of the Day:

gamine

gamine \gam-EEN; GAM-een\, noun:

1. A girl who wanders about the streets; an urchin.

2. A playfully mischievous girl or young woman

How Big.

Want to know how I really feel?

I miss him.

I miss his tiny cry and his little face and the body that used to fit into this onesie. I miss his fingers - his bent little pinkies. His toes. His squeaks as he nursed.

Friday night I cried myself to sleep. I laid his blue monkey hat next to me in bed where his head has rested next to me last. and I patted the comforter where his bottom always was. That would always relax him - then we could go back to sleep, and do it all over again when he got hungry ... in 3 hours. Held a teddy bear given to us for his funeral and cried and cried. Oh, how I miss my baby boy.

There is an anthill on the surface of his grave. And I watch, wondering how cold it is underneith. And oh, how I want to dig!! Did I wrap him warmly enough? He has a book and a webkinz just in case. And then I laugh for obvious reasons....a webkinz? and he wouldn't be reading a board book about heaven - he's THERE. And I close my eyes every time I go see him and ask God to take us. Come back for us, Lord. Come back soon. What should i do with this anthill in the meantime? How dare they - that's where my son is. He doesn't like bugs, either. If only I could just hold him for another day. Feel him wiggle, feel him warm, with no embalming fluid smell. Like mass-produced plastic. Ugh. But his beautiful little hand was perfect all the way from birth through burial. That didn't change a bit.

At the cemetery, there is a gravestone that has a worn look to it. Son of ______ Born and Died August 27, 1890. A lamb carved into the top. No flowers. And I look back at my son's stone with 4 boquets around it, pull a pretty arrangement from the ground, and place it next to this baby's stone. And I stand there and think - near 100 years ago, his mother stood in this very spot - asking God "why?". Why my baby? Crying over her son, and pouring her heart out - just as I was that day. And now, I bet she's with him again. And his stone sits unvisited, just as Andy's will be in 100 years. And just as I will be with him again.

I am going to be honest. I am haunted. Haunted by thoughts of Andy's death, finding him that morning when I opened my eyes. Pale and blue and cool when I touched him - wondering what on earth had just happened. Holding him so tightly - knowing I had never been so out of "situational control" in my whole life. He was perfectly fine 4 hours ago. CPR, Ambulance, Investigators, Questions, Funeral Arrangements, Burial, Gravestone Design. Something I never dreamed about when I went back to sleep after nursing that morning.

I don't quite know if I should be writing all this tonight, but I am just going to. If I don't hear my children for a few hours in the night, my heart sinks, and I stand at their door terrified to go into the room, and seeing flashes of what I might find. I walk in and stare at their bodies laying there until I see movement. Sometimes I will shake them a little just to see them respond. Hold a finger under their nose to feel their warm breath. And I wonder when I will stop.

I see potential dangers in a whole new light. There are movies that people see flash pictures of the future - that kind of thing. That is exactly how it happens. A close up shot of the danger, then them finding that danger, accident, dying, pain, arrangements, burial, and finding heaven ...unintentionally. Only it's not predicting anything - or helping - it's haunting. Although Andy died in his sleep, I see my other kids in accidents as well as sleeping. Or in pain - and I am unaware. I feel unaware of this life we live. and out of control. And every day I have to make a choice to submit and watch what He can do. Because if I didn't have that every morning when I walk into the girls' room, I wouldn't have anything.

I expected that God knew how He fit into the box I made for Him. Turns out, I don't think it was His favorite place to be. And He shouts - I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END. But I LOVE you. Come and get to know me better. That coffee you are drinking - I created that. Those raspberries you are going to pick today - I made those. And me, I can rationalize that I will see Andy again, and I understand God's faithfulness and LOVE...but my little brain just can't get around this idea.....who is He? He gives and takes away ... but my heart will choose to say .... Lord, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. In these storms of this crazy world - I want to cling to you, because that is the absolute only thing that I am sure about anymore. He is the only thing I am sure of.

No, I don't know how or why He works, but He is there, and always will be. And He LOVES piddly little me. Enough to tell me that I need to DISCOVER Him again. And that is where I am.

Define Weeds.

My boquet of flowers sitting on my table came from the ditch. That's right, the ditch! :)

Queen For A Day!

I went to a women's conference at our church a couple months ago. There was a chance to nominate someone to receive queen for a day (spa day). I was overwhelmed by the nominations and the sweet, sweet words that were so selflessly given. Everyone in the room wanted to bless another with this day, and quite honestly, I felt a little guilty up there receiving this wonderful package. A spa day wasn't exactly "me".



1. Hair done however I wanted! My sister has always done my hair - since I can remember school pictures. I have only been to a salon once for me - for a wedding that I was a bridesmaid in.

2. Massage! My love languages are words and touch - so the whole "touchy thing" had me a little freaked out - being alone in a room not wearing much and touching going on??? Uhhh.... I had never done it - I am the one that gives the massages, not receives them - I used to rub my mom's feet for 10 cents. :)

3. Nails! LOL - I do NOT have pretty nails, blogging friends. What on earth would I do with a manicure? I was quite sure it should have been someone else. :)

4. Lunch with my friends. Now THAT I can do!

So here is the manicure. I had a GREAT time - this lady was very nice, we talked a lot about Andy and about the tornado disasters. She advised me to use a nail strengthener - LOL. Okay, okay.

Then we went to my favorite place ever to eat - a cute diner downtown - I am very partial to this place ........ I used to work here and LOVE it!! This is me and my sister, Wendy - she rocks.
And we met T and Mary (last post was September 2006! My blog slacker.) there - they are awesome - and we had such relaxing conversation....I just love them!! It made it a girlS day out!

Now for the massage I was so nervous about.....this was the room I was awarded! After I was ready, the massage therapist came in and laid it out there - "We can sure talk if you want to. I won't bother you - unless you want to chat. You can let me know if it is too much pressure, or too little, and feel free to ask any questions." :) :) thank you - I had no idea. It. Was. Awesome. We talked a little, but it wasn't weird at all - she was wonderful! :)
Then I cheated a little bit. I sent my sister to get her hair done. You see, she is a hairdresser and always cuts her own hair, colors her own hair, and does everyone elses. So she colored and cut my hair before our spa day, and she also got a cut and color! I was SOOO happy to see her SIT IN THE CHAIR! lol, she's the best!

I had the best day! And completely felt like a queen and a half. :) So thank you so much to my blogger buddies and you, visitor, ;) that were there and sent in a little pink slip for me - I. Love. You. And I had an amazing time!

P.S. I have not worn nail strengthener....I should really get on that....3 more broke today. :)

Smile!

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.



An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Virtual Garden Tour!

Corn (which may get some enhancements this year), Jalepono Peppers, Squash Varieties (which is where the circle fence and wire fence will allow them to grow), Brussel Sprouts (quietly anticipating this new veggie), Eggplant, Cucumbers, Yellow and Zucchini Squash, Green and White Beans, Asparagus Beans (?), Beets, Turnips, Radishes, Carrots, Onions (which are looking VERY sad....didn't come up last year either....?hmm...maybe my husband is throwing root killer on my onions when I'm not looking??), Okra, and 40 Tomato Plants (big beef, normal popular :), yellow, cherry, roma, and who knows what else - it's written down somewhere...)

6 Black Mulberry trees - we have frozen 20 cups already in a few short days...

Which results in this.....

These are starting to show their pretty faces.....Still trying to find some seedless sweet grapes to plant next to these!

And my yummy red raspberries are popping up again!! Yay!

10 apple trees, 2 pear trees, rhubarb........

Now HERE is the question!!! Can this land feed my family for a whole year?? Minus meat and dairy - cuz I am not ready to commit to a goat yet. Or a cow. Or a sheep. Maybe some chickens for eggs and meat....but we'll see about that! Do I do some farmers market this year, or can and freeze my little heart out to see how self-reliant we actually are?

I am not just saying this.....if you want some yummy fresh fruits and veggies, PLEASE call me - You pick it - you keep it! THIS IS YOUR INVITATION!

ONE WORD - MeMeMeMe

Sarah at Life in the Parsonage tagged us for this one-word MeMe...ONE WORD!! So here's the rules: All of the answers must be just one word, that's right - one. Now where is that thesaurus?

1. Where is your cell phone? Table
2. Your significant other? Comfortable
3. Your hair? Undone
4. Your mother? Advisor :) (Tee-Hee)
5. Your father? Goofball
6. Your favorite thing? Crafting
7. Your dream last night? Vivid
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee!
9. Your dream/goal? Self-discipline
10. The room you’re in? Messville
11. Your church? Addicting
12. Your fear? Childless
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Heaven.? :)
14. Where were you last night? Here
15. What you’re not? Confident
16. Muffins? Nah
17. One of your wish list items? Tubal-Ligation
18. Where you grew up? Iowa
19. The last thing you did? Maidsearch
20. What are you wearing? Coffee
21. Your TV? Channelless
22. Your pets? Tied
23. Your computer? Battery-challenged
24. Your life? Reviewing
25. Your mood? Behind
26. Missing someone? Andy
27. Your car? Vacuum-challenged
28. Something you’re not wearing? Bells
29. Favorite store? Clearance
30. Your summer? mosquito-ey
31. Like(love) someone? Always
32. Your favorite color? Pink
33. Last time you laughed? Yesternight
34. Last time you cried? Morning
35. Who will re post this? Puh....

This was SUPER hard...ONE word! If I can do this...I can do anything *wink wink*
I'd like to tag T and Angela.

Flood and a Half

My bathroom sink looks a little like this when my daughter washes her hands for the millionth time....water filling over the sink onto the counter, and starting to fill up the floor....only on an amazingly smaller level.

Call Me... Phone Man

Favorites
Food: Probably, um, pickles.
Drink: Blueberry Mountain Dew
To Do: Drive 4-wheelers
Stuff: Guitars
Color: Black
Season: Summer, because it means when school gets out!! (I'll take 2 more please...2 more exclaimation points) !!
Movie: Scooby Doo
Day: Sunday, cuz.
*anything else?
"That...I like chicken!"

Here is Darin in all his glory. Just like his daddy - taking things apart!

Crow and the Kitten

My dad sent me this - check it out! :)

http://charliephillips.net/Video/CrowandCat/tabid/800/Default.aspx

Catilyn's Mommy is Relieved Now. :)

Catilyn Renee Wedeking was born on May 27, 2008 at 12:01pm! 6 pounds, 6.2 ounces and 19.5 inches long. And She. Is. Beautiful. Congratulations Chris and Christi!!!!!

Passion

I want to share with you an e-mail I wrote last night. I thought of anything else to blog about today, but this is all that's on my heart. So here it is.

*****************
Do you REMEMBER when everything just made sense all of a sudden with me and my life was transformed and my nose was in that bible every spare minute? I remember VERY WELL a few times that you asked me about becoming luke-warm in the Lord. That an "experienced Christian" knows what to do and say, and the passion fades. A few months ago, I had finally decided how big God was - and in my box he sat. Then Andy - out of nowhere our lives AND that pointless little box were shattered. And I found myself clinging to Him again. But, I will tell you this - I fear my routine, and I fear that box being glued back together for Him to sit in. I fear. That is the LAST place I want to be again, and I sit here and cry now as I read this because I am already beginning to tell Him how big He really is. What. Is. My. Problem?

Stir it up in my heart, a passion for Your name. This is no longer a "dry spell". It is my problem. Trying to honor God in dirty diapers and dishes, gardening and Windex, Barney books and responsibilities. I guess my question is, how do I get that passion I so vividly remember from 2002? Journaling and reading The Book have a way of keeping my heart "interested", but. I. want. fire!
*********************

Picture Wednesday

Country = Bugs. I saw a sticker in Wal-Mart (harry calls it the evil empire) that said "Smile Now, Pay Later". That's what these little ants are doing. Unknowingly, just a little bit of this can wipe out their own people. Just because they entered MY house. (So, I would represent Satan I guess - in this story). Whether it be us entering into gossip (the leading terro for woman - little goes a LONG way), profanity, disobedience, or a general terro lifestyle....They entered my house and I got 'em. It looked great for them, having a good time out of the rain, with plenty of sugar laying around - feasting time....tomorrow there may be one or two left, then none the next day. Share the terro, get 'em all. This has been big for me - these ants have actually done me a favor this spring. Do I really want to infect my brothers and sisters, husband and children because I have a down day? I could always find some way to be an encouragement - obedience.

Let me introduce you to....Mud Man. Rolling around after the storms in his underwear. Can't beat that.

These are our closest neighbors.......zoomed in.

So many nights I stare at this sky with all different colors and think "Lord, how beautiful. And you must look at this like I look at my first scrapbooking pages. As if to say they are okay, but look WHAT ELSE I made? I can't wait to see."

and here is the trouble trio.....no, there's not a frog in the garbage can, or any bugs. It's empty. but awefully fun to stare at. Harry, so many days I completely take you for granted, picking at the things I would change about you. So sorry. This comes to mind now because I look at this picture in two ways. One - what a fun dad, joining in with the girls looking into an empty garbage can because they get a kick out of it. And two - why are they staring into it? Do they think the new garbage bag magically appears? Get on it, children! :)

LOVE when I catch these two doing the same things at the same times. Like holding their spoons with their right hand, and eating yogurt with their left....meaning no spoon. And yogurt all. over.

I think I will be okay now.....for the record.

Forlorn

for·lorn

/fɔrˈlɔrn/ [fawr-lawrn] –adjective
1. desolate or dreary; unhappy or miserable, as in feeling, condition, or appearance.
2. lonely and sad; forsaken.
3. expressive of hopelessness; despairing: forlorn glances.
4. bereft; destitute: forlorn of comfort.

In her defense, she has had 4 back teeth coming in for the last couple weeks. But, oh my. Not in her defense, how does "the teeth excuse" explain this face for anyone except Mom and Dad?

SING with me,

Oooooh it's Corn, Corn, Corn

That makes you feel forlorn

on the FARM, on the FARM...

Oh it's Corn, Corn, Corn

That makes you feel forlorn

on the hinky dinky double dee FARM

Sadie

So, we live out here in the middle of nowhere, and I was getting tired of the skunks and the FEAR of going out into that open night to get something out the van because I'm that much of a chicken. Wanted a dog to shoo animals and (ahem, the cats - Harry, pretend you didn't read that) and mean people, you get the point. I am a scardy dork and just needed a dog. But what do I want in a dog? Let's see (this was my list of what to look for in a dog). Doing a LIST.

1. Doesn't sniff butts

2. Doesn't beg for food
3. If you don't want to pet it, it goes away.

4. Chases animals away (and the gray cat)

5. Won't jump up on anyone

6. Good with kids!!!

7. Won't run off all the time
8. Is nice to visitors

9. Doesn't sniff their butts either

10. Won't knock my kids down, and scare them

11. Older dog (out of the puppy-biting stage)

12. Can't be an indoor dog

13. No Black Dogs

14. Hunting capabilities

So, a friend called and said there was a dog in the credit union swap sheet, so we called and went to look at her. Beautiful dog, 4 years old, lived out on a farm before with 1 and 3 year old children, and parents are divorcing (and I assume moving) so could not keep her. She was living in a heated garage all summer in town. It did not take long to decide we wanted her to join us out on the "rinky dinky double dee farm". Asked what he wanted for her, and he says "nothing, I just want to see her go to a good home". WOO! Do you KNOW how much dogs are?? Humane Society had over 100 on their adoption price, I was happy. Sadie is her name, and we went to Wal-Mart to grab some quick things (like food and a chain, so she wasn't exactly FREE). Took her home and put her on one of those cables staked into the ground. She was on it for a day, then walked her around the perimeter of the yard so she would know boundaries, and *note: I'm sure she was holding back on commenting on how big of a DORK I was because she knew this farm business well. Let her off the leash the next day, and she hasn't been back on since. Has not run off once, goes on point (which means she's a HUNTER, hehe - maybe her and I can go get some pheasant), GREAT with the kids, just say she meets ALL my criteria for what I want in a dog! Here she is, she has become part of our family very quickly....and have smelled no more skunks around here! And the gray cat is no longer meowing for food at my door! I would like that cat better if she would let anyone pet her (for the record!).

And she takes a WHOLE lot of abuse by these two! They knock her down, pull her hair, and try to ride on her. We've had her for a month, and she has never bit or sniffed butts. :) She needed a place to RUN without restraint. Really, we have been great for each other.

Our Picnic Today. What a day.

Yes, that is jelly above the middle name, not a glitch. :)

Meme...do they call it that for "me me"?

Mel tagged me.

my job is to think of 6 words or phrases that best describe me.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six-word memoir.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.

3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post.

4. Tag five more blogs with links.

5. Remember to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

so here we go..
Here are six words/phrases that best depict who I am:

1. Musical

2. Crafty

3. Caretaker

4. Organized
(I didn't say it couldn't be an organized mess, but I know where it is!)

5. Cheap :)

6. Prepared

I know, I know, my vocabulary is so well-developed. I tag.... Angela, Tina, Sarah, Chris, and Heth. Sorry if you have already done it and I tagged you! If that's you, please disregard number 4 and 6 of my blog. :)

Only

So I'm standing in front of my kitchen sink doing dishes looking out the window, deciding what to make for supper. I glance up at the clock on the wall and it states that it's a little after 2:00. And I think "*gasp* I *only* have 4 hours until we leave for church".

Only 4 hours. Puh.

Heavenly

Remember this? I admit I have taken the "color" thing to new levels about every year.






Oh, COME ON! How beautiful is that?!?! Color makes me happy. Not like you couldn't tell or anything.

My Week.

Monday
10:00 katie comes to babysit
11:00 child support hearing
6:00 school carnival meeting at high school

Tuesday
9:00 bible study
Sister has appt. to see if she has her baby!!! I will also have
her daughter sometime this week (hopefully this week)
2:00 katie comes to babysit
4:00 Harry & I appt. with Anne

Wednesday
I would LOVE to take a friend out this day.
We will see if it works out!
6:30 church

Thursday
5:30 leave for work
6:00 carnival meeting (obviously won't make that one)
Have my nephew overnight

Friday
3:10 get Olivia and Darin for weekend
3:30 get my nephew back to his dad
5:30 - 8 school carnival (finally!)

Saturday
2am wake up
3am go to church to work the lock in for the kids
7:30 garage sales (city-wides if I can make it to that location)
church clean-up day

Sunday
8:30 church
5:00 bring kids back to .... town

So this makes 22 times into "town" one-way this week. 20 minutes each. How much is gas, again? I like the weeks I can sit and catch up on laundry, have a cup of coffee during nap time, have supper ready when Harry gets home...you know. But if I didn't have weeks like this one, would I really appreciate the relaxed ones?

Ahh, I love it! Just right!

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down. Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times! You are very comfortable in your own skin. You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide. Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic. You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental. You should live: Somewhere warm You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofshoeareyouquiz/
So, what kind of shoe am I again? None? Go me!

Meme!

I’ve been tagged! And the rules are…
1) link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by linking their names as well as links to their blog
4) let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

At Ann's request, I would be happy to share 7 weird random things about myself

1. I eat everything in twos. 2 jellybeans (LOVE the coconut, but can't stand the buttered popcorn flavor - and they are WAY TOO similar in color! - Result: Mmm, uhh, ack, quick swallow.), 2 bites of hot dog at a time, 2 m&ms. Same color, 2 blue, 2 red, and the one yellow, one brown, and one orange left goes to Harry.

2. DO NOT go in circles around me. E.V.E.R. Drives me nuts. If I walk to the left of you, I will be going by you the same way when I leave, so there is nothing that has gone in a full circle around me. if I fail, it makes me twitch - and explaining that to people makes me sound like the biggest fruitcake of the holiday. Tina. I don't say this to egg you on. Don't be showing up Sunday and running around me. You will pay. :)

3. I am smitten with action movies, but hardly can stand them anymore because of the language and nudity. There are a few I have found that are great, but it's rare. LOVE the theatrical version and unrated version where you can choose to leave the junk out of the movie. GREAT thinking, people. Love Bruce Willis - he looks like my brother a little - same mannerism.

4. I adore coffee. But not black coffee. I like to to buy flavored creamer - it's the only way to drink my only addiction. They are all growing on me, but Carmel Vanilla .... The Bomb so far.

5. Organizing by color makes me feel peaceful. :) Seriously.

6. I long to be older....Oh, do I long. 26, as I know I've said before is a party age. That's not me. I party with my toddlers, not the college pub crowd.

7. I grew up a "city....(town) girl", but I live out here with the sunsets, corn and bean fields, bugs (EWW), and farm equipment as of last year and LOVE IT. We just got Sadie, a 4 year old golden lab yesterday. "That's all I have to say about that."

I tag 2 people that have disappeared lately! Angela and Natalie

Gentle, Strong, and ... Surprising??

How many of you KNOW that we have our husbands figured out? Let's all say a "ME!!!" together. I know that when Harry gets ready for bed, he frowns, smacks his lips, puts his hands up a little ways and say "what do we got to eat?". Something cold, of course. Let me make you a verbal menu, sweetheart.

Or if I notice he is frowning more than usual I can ask "Are you okay?" and I will immediately get a response with a bigger frown: "Yeah, are YOU okay?" LOL, that's a classic. Pegged.

*Note: forgive me for all the punctuation errors here and run-ons, but it happened like this in my head.

So, last week on a Saturday I was going to be helping a friend, Mary, serving food at a basketball game for our church. I went to garage sales that morning, and then came home to hang out for a few hours before leaving for the night. My husband was extra attractive to me all day, and I admit, I had to let him know how I felt about him. He had this glow about him - wow, this man is gorgeous. :) And he's MINE! Little did I know where this glow was coming from. It wasn't me imagining it - it was excitement all bottled up.

Almost 5:00, have to be there by 5:30, so I started getting wipes filled up, diapers, bottles/sippy cups to go, you know...be prepared for toddlerhood ...... outside the house. Oh, Stacy still needs socks and shoes on. Then a friend of mine, Lisa, shows up with her daughter, and I ask her if she was "just in the neighborhood" - which....NO. ONE. is. just. in. the. neighborhood. out. here. Middle of nowhere - seriously. So here I am trying to think of a polite way to kick her back out the door because we have to be leaving....like now... - oh no - she's taking her shoes off....ahh, wait! Don't take those off just yet...we have to leave....Stacy needs socks and shoes, still....all these thoughts in the midst of small talk.

Then Harry pops up behind me and starts pulling me out the door. Wait- the kids! What?! He's dressed up for a basketball game. Do I have to wash nacho cheese dip out of that outfit tomorrow? "Ahh, do I need to change?" Lisa says "bye!" with a big smile on her face and takes Stacy in the living room to look out the window - at the middle of nowhere, and I am still worried about finishing the diaper bag packing.
"What is going on here - what just happened? Do I need to call Mary?"
"No, Mary's in on it. Here, put this on." as he hands me a bag with a dress, shoes, and matching undergarments, because that's just a complex I have. Okay, no basketball game I assume. This man will not tell me anything. AT. ALL! We played 60 questions on the way there, and I finally realized that he was telling me nothing of the truth as he answered these. I think it was the one he answered about "we're going to a Motley Crew concert" that I finally picked up on the fact that this was all bull hunkey. He told me about 10 times to just sit back and enjoy the evening. But me, being this planning fruitcake, has to have it all figured out before it happens. HELLO!

We get to a nice restaurant, very nice meal, good conversation, relaxing, glass of wine....did I mention no kids? You can actually hear each other talk quietly! lol Then he takes me to UNI - Walked in, this is the Waterloo/CF Symphony. Now, I LOVE things like this and my husband planned this whole day just for us....well, me really. Made all the phone calls, worked everything out, kept it a secret - and I knew this man.....he baffled me.

I know he reads these, so honey, I just want to let you know how absolutely special you are and it's times like these that I really realize how much I take you for granted. Thank you, thank you for putting our marriage on the top priority list. It would be so easy after Andy's death for us to fall apart, and by you taking the extra time lately and pouring it into us really shows me that we can come through this together, holding hands. I love you so, so much.

Miss Bimbo

I have a great idea. Let's teach our little girls (9 and up) to think about multiple jobs, multiple boyfriends, sexy underwear, boob jobs, diet pills, and cosmetic surgery. Oh wait, someone's already been on it. Have you people heard about this?!

MissBimbo.com makes me want to live way out in the country with oil lamps. We have the first part down already, I guess. Can you get wireless internet along with oil lamps, or don't those two mesh together?

Along with the french kiss game, this game gives out attitude points, people. Ugh, check it out and get educated - it's coming to a home near you!

My chef of a 2 year old.

Tiffany got out a big pot today and wanted to "egg, egg, cook". So I got out a little omlet pan for her. By herself, she sprayed the pan, cracked the eggs (she likes to sqeeze them, so we have to review to tap it on the counter first), 2 small eggshell pieces easy to take out, picked out a spatula and stirred it up, I added some salt and got a "Oh, thank you Mommy", then added her handful of cheese. Holy cow, when did she grow up. No, she didn't eat it. She served it to Stacy, who gladly accepted. She is very careful about getting burned, too. It's just built into her - I better take some cooking classes before she starts teaching ME how to cook.

Cleaned out our raspberry patch yesterday - I feel spring coming on!

Happy Easter!

Tiffany saw this huge bunny walking down the sidewalk and she darted toward him. This is a sprint, Ladies and Gentlemen.

















Happy Easter to you, Andy. We sent you off a balloon today!

I was just standing here doing dishes. No, I'm not sure how long my house will smell like this little guy. Aren't you supposed to be hybernating??




















But, it's a true sign that spring will feel like spring any time now. No, really, any time now. I'm super excited for a garden this spring!

Dear Andy,

1. You were perfect.
2. I have cried more tears for you than I knew I had.
3. I. Miss. You. Oh, I miss you.

I love you always,
Mom

Lovely Store Guide

I just wanted to say... we have a couple local grocery stores here, and I visit both. But on my way out of the store that has the bus (or maybe it's the front of a big yellow minivan) attached to the cart for the kids . . . I found a STORE GUIDE! This little guide maps out all the isles and rows with locations of food printed on them. As I make my grocery list, I write it out according to wherever I am shopping that day (aka whoever has great sales items). So the tuna helper and juice and canned foods always seem to be jumbled because those are the middle-of-the-store isles, and I don't have that much memory span in my little brain. But NOW there's a GUIDE - wanna know how this whole thing goes down? I'll tell you.

As the week goes on, I have a little spot in my daily planner on my counter that is made for grocery lists. As I notice something getting low, or just plain non-existant in my home and I NEED (note: sometimes NEED means M&Ms or Twizzlers if the price is right) it, I jot it down on my little list. Then the morning of the Big Adventure Out, I make sure I have gone through the sales ads, sit down with a fresh paper and write my list out in order according to store. But now there is no gap in my list. And let me tell you, when you're chugging through the isles trying to focus on which groceries you needed with 5 children needing your attention at that specific moment in time, you lose a little more sanity. So thank you, very very much for your store guide. I can now venture out with the children much easier than before, because I can weave swiftly up and down the isles and quickly grab things off the shelf IN ORDER without skipping a beat. Sure beats stopping at the end of each isle to check things off my list, then forgetting something and have to backtrack 3 rows, then remember where I was. Did I mention it's impossible to do this with children - good thing we have Daddy for you guys? Have I expressed this ENOUGH??? THANK YOU FOR THE STORE GUIDE!!!

Title?

How did this guy fit in my belly just a few short days ago??
And, here was our final Christmas picture this year. Pat-A-Cake works wonders!!

That's all for today - I have diapers to change.

Andy

Andy Duane Whiteside joined us at 9:25 a.m. on Wednesday. 7 pounds 1 oz. and 19 1/4 inches tall. We will go home in the morning and watch the snow fall until Christmas. What a gift! I'll get some pictures on here soon.

I LOVE THE SMELL OF NEW BABIES!

Update

So, it's been forever and a day, I know.

Does this make up for it?

My baby is walking...but the video wouldn't upload...sorry. It was a good one, too. :)

The cats wouldn't even eat my smokin' good side - so, it was chicken alfredo with no garlic bread - tsk, tsk.

I awoke at 3:20 am Friday to dive into this with Harry's cousins.

Baby #3 will officially arrive on December 19th at approximately 9:00 am (if not sooner).

And the kids got to have a bowlful of marshmallow Jell-O before breakfast last Saturday.

And I'm nesting..... b. a. d.

And I am 26 now. How embarrassing to say that.....for the record, I'd like to be thought of as 32. Please. 26 sounds like a kid. I hate it when people ask me my age, because 26 is a party age, isn't it? 28 is almost established, and 31 is established. So please, I beg you, don't say "oh, you're so young!" That may be the worst phrase for me to ever hear. The worst is when women I consider to be my friends say "I could be your mother". Ugh. Fine, I'll go to my room.

And I got through 6 1/2 hours last night without getting up to pee. Woo Hoo!

A Picture for You Today

I was out picking apples minding my own business, and heard .... this ....

Nice, huh?

And then I heard a little chicken say that the sky is falling - I just may believe him today.

Super Cool

This incredible machine was built as a collaborative effort between the Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory and the Sharon Wick School of Engineering at the University of Iowa.

Amazingly , 97% of the machines components came from John Deere Industries and Irrigation Equipment of Bancroft Iowa ; yes, farm equipment!

It took the team a combined 13,029 hours of set-up, alignment, calibration, and tuning before filming this video but as you can see it was WELL worth the effort

It is now on display in the Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall at the University and is already slated to be donated to the Smithsonian.

My Top 20 Updates For You

I have 5 loads of laundry waiting to be folded, and here I sit - in front of the computer. Why? Because I love you. Wait, there's more. I'm going to give you a little update by a list instead of rambling on about EVERYTHING, even though I know you're all speed-readers.

1. There were 6 gallons of milk in my fridge last week.
2. I get a weekend away with my husband ALONE in Colorado next weekend. Flying out Friday at 6:15am. NO children, wellll, almost no children. But no diapers and messes and bibs and nap time really means no children, doesn't it?
3. The mulching stage in the garden is almost complete. We were almost on time.
4. The dishes are also piling up quickly. I guess when I run out of plates or silverware I will get motivated enough.
5. We signed up for Netflix.
6. I have a lack of spiritual excitement lately.
7. I am in love with my new diaper bag.
8. I get to go scrapbooking Friday night!
9. I find that if I separate my daycare kids during nap time, they sleep for at least another hour and a half - how? Well, I asked them in a very casual moment in their day. It seems the younger one would wake up in the middle of nap time and jump on his brother. Amazingly, it wakes him up, and then down they both come to have their fruit snacks.
10. I have had 3 root beer floats this week.
11. I feel the beginning of an addiction for the smoothies at the local gas station - you know, the one that sells bananas? You have a choice of 3 flavors, grab it from the freezer, and put it under the blender thingy. Too good!
12. We have 10 apple trees.
13. I bought a cookbook an inch and a half thick with apple recipes. 25 cents....
14. I love garage sales.
15. I have 2 Christmas gifts wrapped already.
16. My husband has won once out of the last 2 weeks in our cribbage battles.
17. Bought a new cribbage board. Plastic. holds the pegs and cards inside when you fold it down in half. 10 cents
18. I just noticed where the fire extinguisher is just now. We've lived here 2 and a half months.
19. I also just noticed how many of these start with the word "I". Nooooo, it's not all about me! Where's your proof?
20. And my final update for you.....I smelled a skunk this morning. Harry just may feel like putting his second one to rest soon.

Nothing that would make Oprah, so that's good news, but since I've been an aweful blogger, there ya' go.

Wordless Wednesday - Sisters

My Kissin' Girl

Melts my heart. At naptime and bedtime, I sit next to Tiffany's crib and read a story from our Disney book. She usually falls asleep somewhere at the end. Her favorite thing to do as I'm reading, though, is poke her little head up and pucker up through the bars. So I give my baby a kiss, and she lays back down with her baby and her bottle with a little twinkle in her eyes.

I pray I never forget that.

Any Dad

Please visit www.IowaFathers.com for more information

You Are Not Alone

Stacy Jean

I know I know. How long since my last blog? Well this is why:

6 pounds, 14 ounces. 10 little fingers, 10 little toes. Loves to eat, loves clean diapers, can't stand being cold and anything to do with gas. Gets countless kisses from my big sister, seriously - countless. Loves sleeping in Mom or Dad's arms. Love my moby wrap. Love to be held.

Come hold me.

Daddy's Little Girl

They have such a big responsibility, don't they? They are the playmates, the taste-testers, the experimenters. They are the providers. "Daddy" is the protector. I remember growing up in that reality - my dad protected us for as long as he could (or had to) hold on to us. There is a question I would like to share with you today.

"What is a dad's primary role - teacher, protector, provider, pal, or disciplinarian?"

My dad says Protector without a doubt. He was. My husband says Provider without a doubt. And he is. I remember my dad most as a protector AND teacher, though. He would teach ethics every day of our lives, and continues to do so. Maybe the answer changes as your children grow and their needs change. But what a neat role to play - Daddy. All the diaper changes, late night rocking when Mom is at the end of her rope, the games to keep them occupied while dinner is cooking, the hugs and kisses, and the Snack Man role they get to play. Thanks to all you dads, whichever is your favorite role in your children's lives. We appreciate you.

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

ALL OF US COULD TAKE A LESSON FROM THE WEATHER. IT PAYS NO ATTENTION TO CRITICISM.