I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
ALL OF US COULD TAKE A LESSON FROM THE WEATHER. IT PAYS NO ATTENTION TO CRITICISM.