As I step over the toys and walk by the piles of laundry, I often wonder how and why this mess keeps on showing its face. “Didn’t I clean that up already A MINUTE AGO? And almost every day, I think about boxing it all up to the attic! Taking care of it once and for all!
The same is true for the mess in my heart. A section or two of my heart is called “under the bed, covered by bedskirt” and “stuffed in the closet and close the door”. In these places, my heart is still be a mess, but no one can see my hidden disaster with the plastic smile I have learned to wear so well. These hiding places perfectly fit unforgiveness, judgments, addictions, gossip, hurts, fears, etc.
Would you like to know a great thing about God? (You say, me! me! Pick me!) He created us as INDIVIDUALS. We aren’t supposed to be a bunch of cherries mixed up in a cherry pie - tasting all the same. We are more like a chicken pot pie. You may be the carrot, I am so the chicken. So often I look at other women and think “I wish I had that quality” or “they do that so much better than I ever could” or “she always looks so beautiful and put together”. And I find myself on a lower level as them. That I am not as important because, seriously, what does someone like me have to offer? And look at them - they are so…….so……..Christian!
Christian? We are not supposed to be the same! We aren’t all supposed to have a gift for baking, or keeping our house spotless, and we don’t have to long for the patience THAT woman has. Because we are who we are - and God DELIGHTS in that! It is difficult to let Him at times, that’s for sure. Our doubts and fears about ourselves take over, but He whispers “Come to me. Simply come. Just as you are.”
Look at these adorable things that Harry got at the store - clearanced out to make great future baby gifts! As I read the label (which does not change my mind about giving them as gifts, by the way)..... NOTE: Drinking hot or cold fluids, exercising, smoking or performing other activities may raise or lower your temperature. Therefore, it is important to RELAX FOR 5 MINUTES WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED PRIOR TO TAKING A READING.
lol, crack me up. They don't really mean that, do they? Maybe they didn't have my kids in mind....
I've loved you from that first moment we locked eyes. Even more when you carried that huge box of candy to my car for me on our first date. And when you teared up as I walked down the isle. And the wedding night, and the honeymoon. We've had some great discussions. Important Fights. Great loss. Great gain. Good days. Bad days. Surgeries. Financial Trouble. Financial Resolution. Relocation. New Life. Death. Hope. Not bad in four years. Not bad.
Want to know something? You're still my favorite.
Happy Anniversary, Baby.
p.s. thanks for putting up with the laundry all over the house :)
Yesterday we were walking in from the garden and the girls were on the lawn mower with Harry, and I suddenly remembered I don't have a car seat attached to my arm....then I pause and realize.... it's in the attic. Andy isn't here anymore and Stacy is running around like a big girl.
I had this summer all planned out. the girls would run around and help pull weeds, pick grapes, pick veggies, and Andy would be taking naps in the car seat under the shade tree. Or crawling around eating dirt and worms. I hadn't realized it was still in my heart as the plan. :)
We left the eggplant, jalepenos, squash, and some tomato plants - the rest is mowed down. Done. I am wearing a sweatshirt and summer is nearing the end. I normally just. don't. like. winter. It's cold. And my feet have about no circulation. So I crawl into bed and automatically attach my toes to my husband's leg to warm them up. Out come the fuzzy socks. I have mixed feelings this year about winter. Surprisingly, I am looking forward to it. Maybe not the bulky winter coats and muddy slush on the floor.....but the calm. The snowed-in days. Snowmen. Candles. Warm chocolate chip cookies.