Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Then came home to meet Darin's new teacher in a new school. Exciting! This is his first day of school. He is signed up for football, which he's pumped about. Practice starts next week. He says all the kids are nice there.
We went on the SIDS walk this weekend. Here is my family by Andy's sign along the trail. Picture taken by my faithful friend, Christi. Everyone was so great! It was a bittersweet day. The balloon release was again, so powerful. I just kept thinking about all those people that found their baby no longer breathing......
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
I can tell you what the funeral home smelled like, but not my living baby. I can tell you which funeral cards touched me the most, but not his birth cards. I can tell you who was there for the visitation, and not the days of his life. I have learned what it is to "cling" to God, searching for comfort. And I found it. And I won't let it go. Ever. Now I'm left with do I cling to his memory? Any mother would say "of course!" Except the ones who know it hurts. Bad. That's me on a certain level. Not that I want the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality because he was MY BABY. He is home with the Lord now, not mine anymore. Maybe I'm secretly afraid of making Andy a false idol. Bow down at the Andy shrine or leave it and run to God? But, I don't want to forget either, and I am allowing it. Finding a happy medium seems impossible sometimes. Especially tonight.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
All the contestents lined up......9 of them. I won't give you pictues of all of them with pie all over their faces, because they know where I sleep. But here's a couple.
Juliana smiling at Daddy...this melts my heart.
Christopher laughing at Harry and Darin,...LOVE it.
And Darin. Stuffing his face. LOL
And I almost wonder..........
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I brought my girls to my brother's house on Wednesday night, and headed out on a plane on Thursday morning. I hopped on 3 planes to arrive in Erie, Pennsylvania. Got there with more than an hour to spare, so I waited for Harry to get done with work and meet me back at the room. ..... it had been 5 weeks ..... That night we went to the Peninsula on Lake Erie - it was beautiful. Watched the sunset on the beach, and went to an Italian restaurant that night.
Woke up, had breakfast with Harry and then said goodbye for the day. Listened to him get teased a little by co-trainers ;) and then went shopping by myself without children all day. I kept it at 100 bucks, putting a lot of items BACK on the shelf. Is it just me, or are there more things to look at when children aren't present? When Harry got back, we went to a music store, and he looked at bass guitars, and I played the Bach trumpets there - heaven, I tell you.
Saturday morning we headed off to Niagara Falls. We headed to Canada to see the Falls from there.
It was beautiful. :) And perfect. The flowers below were carefully placed all around Niagara Falls park and walkways.
Then we went back to the hotel and had pizza with Rodger, Harry's friend. Then woke up Sunday morning and went to Grace Church - it was such a friendly church. I felt right at home! After that, we went to the bookstore and then to some of the vineyards between Pennsylvania and New York.
Harry and I like wine, but don't buy it very often because we don't really know what we both like. So we went to Heritage Wine Cellars and did some wine tasting - and it was tasty! We liked a couple of the same kinds, so we bought them and went on our way. I'm looking forward to a few quiet evenings and a glass of wine when he gets home. :)
Then it was Sunday night already! So we went down to Lake Erie again and spent some time relaxing. Harry skipped some stones at my request. :)
Then Monday morning it was off to the airports again! This tunnel is in Detroit airport and it was just great - they have calming music while the lights are going - just fun.
When I got home my sister and her son, and my girls were waiting for me at the airport. I cried. I missed them tons, and it was such a relief to know they would be cared for and loved while we were gone - even when they are a lot of work! :) I don't know how Harry's been gone for 6 weeks without seeing them....that's endurance, friends. Skype just isn't the same as a big daddy bear hug. He will hopefully be home tomorrow for good!!! We can hardly wait!
Saturday, May 09, 2009
And to seek out not only our sins, but the underlying cause of them namely the idols that we run to, cling to, in place of Jesus. That which we get our identity, our comfort, our security, our salvation, our passion, our pleasure, our hope. Do any of these sound like you: I am a nice person. People like me. And they say nice things about me. If your idol is people-pleasing and fear of man and being liked and being popular - then when people hurl insults at you, when they criticize you for living for Christ, you will have a crisis - because your idol will be threatened. .... ..... ..... but if your idol is "I'm a nice, likable, loved, decent person, and what they're saying is mean and they don't seem to appreciate me, and they're criticizing me, and they're disagreeing with me," you will find yourself, if that is your idol, in this wonderfully joyous moment that you get to decide whether Jesus Christ is Lord or the opinion of others.
Gets me right where it hurts!!! I'm completely hooked.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Remember this? We added on. Got a puppy today. He needed a good farm yard to run around on. He is a yellow lab. 6 months old. Name: Diesel. Changing name. I think we will call him Buddy. Buddy will take some training. He has a few little habits we need to talk about.
1. He sniffs our female constantly.
2. Tries to mount. Baaaaad idea. Seriously. There are children watching. We laid the smack-down today.
3. He nibbled a little at Darin's hand - like a puppy would do.
BUT, he was eagerly welcomed in by the kids (Olivia would have rather had a parrot, though) and he didn't jump up on them or scare them at all. So, pictures to come. But, Welcome Buddy! We're glad to try this new adventure out - hope it's a permanent one! Maybe we can pull you from a hat, too. Here. Hold still.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
1 lb. Strawberries 0.99
Hamburger or Chicken Helper 0.99
Chicken of the Sea Tuna 0.66
2 Cups HyVee Cheese 0.99
Barilla Pasta 0.99
PLUS -0.50/1 to -1.00/1 from newspaper insert (not sure which varieties are on sale)
Ragu Sauce 0.99
PLUS -0.30 coupon from newspaper insert
Quaker Granola Bars or Bites 1.99
PLUS -1.00/2 HERE
Hershey's Bliss 3.48
PLUS -1.00/1 HERE
Green Giant Boxed Vegetables 1.28
PLUS -0.60/2 HERE (May need to register)
Old Orchard 64 oz. Juice 0.99
PLUS -1.00/2 HERE
Life Cereal 1.98
PLUS -1.00/1 HERE
Hy-Vee Bacon 1.99
Dole Head of Lettuce 0.69 In-Ad Coupon
Pepsi 12 Pack Cans 3 for 8.88
Monday, April 20, 2009
My computer cord doesn't plug in quite right on my computer and I have 32% battery remaining before it shuts down on me. Last night I propped up the cord with a Barney Colors book to make sure it hit the plug-in just right and charged. I have sucked 70% of my laptop battery's life out in one day.....and still more, because I'm not done.
A beautiful woman prayed for me this week and I have felt more energized to complete tasks at home and have a positive outlook. I was feeling a little worn, but I'm okay now. (new make-up helps a little)
And just in case you were wondering:
*I laugh at my own jokes.....in my own head
*I don't exercise
*I don't wash my face until I shower
*I like to watch cartoons maybe more than my kids
*Bugs are coming - creeps me out.
*I don't eat breakfast....unless you count coffee and marshmallow cream
*Did I mention I have tons of cavities, but I'm not a fan of dentist visits? It stems back to childhood. All the kids had tons of stickers because they had a visit with no cavities. Not me. I had 4 stars my whole childhood. Visited twice a year. You do the math.
*I am flying out to see my husband around the 15th of May. I am almost finished packing. Not kidding.
*I have a had a super busy week last week, and another this week. AND I like it.
*I'm bummed that there are no double coupons this week at K-Mart in my area this week.
*I have had my kids in my bed every morning this week since Harry's gone. I am so against that habit, and here I am, welcoming them in, cuddling the night away, with my INSTE book.
*I feel so blessed for great friends this week. :)
*Am surprised Beth didn't post about the dorky girl who came into the library that she knew, but the dork didn't know her, and wasn't smart enough to put 2 and 2 together. Out of context - you don't really EXPECT to run into anyone from blogsphere, do you? ME NEITHER. She forgave the dork very gracefully and didn't even make her feel bad.
Monday, April 13, 2009
What did I ever do right to deserve that? Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing, nothing, nothing. So my question is why? Why did he come? The only thing I can come up with in my earthly brain is that He is loving and unselfish. Obviously, Amie, right? I was always a little slower than the rest. Now you know.
I have no idea what it is to be unselfish. Sometimes I change a diaper so I don't have to smell it anymore. And sometimes I clean my house to escape the embarrassment of a visiting friend. And since we're being honest, sometimes, I even do nice things for people to obtain the praises of man. Maybe more than sometimes. On God's level, I don't know what it is to be loving, either. Patient......nope. Proud.....that's a laugh. Rude......when I'm not hungry or tired. Self-seeking.....I think we covered that. Does not demand my own way......laugh. Never fails......big laugh.
It's really not funny, though. Honestly, it makes me cry. I fall short every day to meet his expectations, and He still chooses me. Little ol' me. Sometimes I wonder ....doesn't he have anything better to do? Yes, He does. But maybe He loves me like a child loves their creations. A picture they colored, a play-dough sculpture, or a Lego jeep. Maybe He holds me up and says "LOOK! I MADE THIS!" And although I hope I am not stuck to a refrigerator with a magnet, I take joy that he made me, and chooses me every day, and loves me just as I am, because I know He's the only one that I will have forever. 2 weeks with the same person 24 hours a day would drive most people crazy......but not God. He loves you every minute, every hour, every day, just as you are. He chooses you.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
It will go like this:
Do you have a teenager? Do you want to know what they are texting or chatting by abbreviations that they use? Go here.
Send this to 273 people in the next 9 minutes and you will win the lottery - even if you don't play it. If you don't send it, a truck will run over your favorite hat this week.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Ask me what "Doyle's Ditty" was last night at INSTE? Ask me! It's from Paul Harvey and it says "If you don't live it you don't believe it". It is going on my fridge for a long long long time.
My sister bought me one of these and I am going to make popcorn every day of the rest of my life, I think. She's the best. It came with a recipe book!!! Let me just share a recipe that I want to try out this weekend - Italian Breadstick-Style Popcorn
1 T Basil (my FAVORITE)
1 T parsley
1 lg. garlic clove, or 1/4 t. powder
1 t. salt
2 T olive oil
5 T popping corn
2 T olive oil
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Let me just say he didn't come to the van after school like he was supposed to, which only escalated from there. He referred to me as his fake mom yesterday. Let me just say I am very frustrated with his mother, and am trying to keep that under control. He did great with the schedule and rules last week, but I feel like I am trying to redo the last 8 years of learning all at once. I was telling God last night that I am so weary, and He whispered a reminder in my ear "Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Okay. We really can't do this without You. And we can absolutely apply Your Word when the going gets tough. So there's a little prayer request for you. Trying to find just the right balance.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Harry went back to work after New Years Day, and was laid off from his job temporarily. So he stayed home and warmed up the couch a lot, trying to find a job on the internet. And I am happy to say all that warming paid off! I could keep my feet warm AND he started a job at Steris last week! He had worked at his job for 17 years, and the last couple years, he knew it was going to be time for something else in the near future. Harry has always liked to feel "secure", and when that is thrown off, he is thrown off. :) I can say that because he will love me anyway.
I will be slowing down on the blogging, I'm sure. Here's why:
He is still in Iowa, but we will only get to see him on weekends for the next 4 weekends or so. Then he will be off to Ohio for a couple weeks, and then to Pennsylvania for 9 (NINE) weeks. He is planning to be back home at least by the middle of June. I will have to fly out and see him - he is a couple hours from Niagara Falls during the Pennsylvania weeks!
Anyway, this single mom thing isn't really what I had in mind while he was couch warming. I miss him. TONS. Even in the first week, I have quickly realized how much he really does for me. He keeps the girls occupied so I can actually get caught up on loose-ends housework (laundry put away, mail sorted, etc.). He would stay in the bathroom during bath time and I could clean up from supper. He picks on me enough to keep me smiling. He did my dishes while he was home. I MISS THAT ALREADY. And I really realized it when I went to the basement today to get some cookie dough from the freezer and found 4-6 inches of water covering the floor. Cool, huh?
Sump pump went out, Ray came over with a little pump, and fixed us up for now. Things will obviously go wrong in my house before June hits, but who will fix it for me? My fantastic husband does all the work on our cars, all the heavy-duty work, lifting, maintenance on everything (even if it doesn't need it!), and still keeps my feet warm at night. I love that man. He's my best friend. The girls aren't real thrilled about him being gone - let's just leave it at that. :) come back soon, honey! But, congratulations on finding a secure job, no matter what the economy does! I know it will be well worth it at the end of this!
Monday, February 16, 2009
I wonder what she is referring to......
Luke 8:15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart.....
1 Peter 1:23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.
And yesterday she was holding her baby and asked her 2 year old sister "What does a baby say?" and her sister wipes her eyes and answers "WAAAAA" and Tiffany the Teacher says "Very Good!!" in a very encouraging voice.
Or when they fight like crazy girls until they are upstairs in bed, then it's a big slumber party....giggling and laughing. Tiffany tries to talk her sister into doing who knows what.....and follows up with "Oh Come on! Be FUN!"
Most days...if I stop what I'm doing and just watch them - I can't help but crack up.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Total today (including tax) for 6 pants, 4 shirts, and 20 socks in the picture: 8.56 Old Navy + 10:28 Younkers = $18.84
New clothes that will fit this year = priceless.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
#1. The Recycle Center. It is a bit humbling digging through the newspaper bin for coupon inserts, but seriously - more coupons than you will need. But they are free - beats a $2 paper every week.
#2. Click here: The Coupon Loop - great.
#3. And here: SD - seriously great.
#4. Target Coupons
#5. Betty Crocker Coupons
#6. Pillsbury Coupons
#7. Smart Source Online
#9. Search by Store
#10. Or circulars for all local stores here
#11. A few great blogs:
Coupon Saving Family
Savvy Savings Tucson
Frugal in Virginia
Common Sense With Money
The downfall? Different states = different grocery stores. Haven't found one in Iowa yet. So I'd like to be it. Except by the time I get done reading and looking at all this, I don't have much time to type out my grocery list with corresponding store and coupon deals. But I am going to start trying. But I need your vote!!! Should I post this stuff on my this blog - or use the "Save a buck" blog?
What would you like to know about saving money??
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
We have been without you for a whole year, but you are still just as real in our hearts. Our love for you has not faded, has not been forgotten. Although I have missed your new baby smell, and the classic first birthday cake pictures ... you somehow have this imprint on my soul that I am confident will never leave me. So much of you has made me who I am, and your life continues to make me into who I am to be. I have learned so much by having you on the earth for a blink of an eye, and have grown so much by having to learn to let you go, and especially by reaching out to my Savior -- the One who holds you now -- the One that has held me this year, and the One that will hold us together someday. Actually, I know you're the lucky one. I bet you're having a celebration of a lifetime today.....and every day. I miss you so much!
Trying to be patient.....
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Aunt Wendy and Jerry came!
Stacy cracks me up. She makes faces and eye contact that can crack me up in 0.5 seconds. :) I wouldn't trade her for anything!!! Even on her bad days! Love you Stacy!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
The little hinges on the door were white with frost, too. Nice. And I wonder why the girls are found in my bed in the morning. Queen sized bed - 4 people. Guess I can't blame them, though. My morning breath rocks.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
These 2 wonderful ladies paid my weekend - I spent a total of $8.19. $4 on paper and $4.19 on a rare treat my hubby doesn't find much. 4 grams of trans fat per serving - these things are awesome. But SO not good for you. Aaaaanyway.....I got Andy's scrapbook DONE up to the point of his gravestone being placed in the cemetery. And I cried a lot. No, it was more like a ton. By Saturday afternoon, I wasn't even going to attempt to reapply make-up. And it was healing - amazingly healing. And the best part? I had two women who were there for me. There's not a whole lot of support in my bedroom at my craft desk upstairs after everyone has gone to sleep. I had friends to cry with, and pause with, and reflect with, and talk with, and laugh with.....at laugh at. :) And they helped me keep on keeping on. I took a couple breaks, but I accomplished what I went there to accomplish - and Jenni and Sarah made such a difference in my life by holding me up and encouraging me and being so giving by taking care of my cost, and by just being there with me. I love them both. so. so. much. Jenni doesn't have a blog....yet.....but Sarah does - so stop on by here and give her a little love. She has great reads. :)
Sunday, January 04, 2009
and I haven't finished anything. We watched a couple movies. We are taking turns playing this. And we have planted ourselves on the couch. for 4 days. Tiffany is sick today - she has a bowl in hand, and eyes glued to the tv - on the couch. So I will pick up some lysol spray tonight, but until then - here we will sit. :)
For 4 days?!