Saturday, December 10, 2005

His will....or mine?

I typed an entire blog a couple of days ago. A LONG blog. And as I was reviewing it to post, my computer shut down on me because it got too hot. All of it was lost. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be posted. I’ll give you the run down, though.

Harry and I heard back from the judge about the placement hearing. It went in her favor. For those of you who don’t know, we’ve been working on this for well over a year. We’ve been trying to get Harry’s kids half of the time, which is called shared physical placement. They have joint custody, but that means about diddly squat. Then, we finally got our court date on September 9th. Waited and waited, and finally heard a couple days ago that we lost. Nothing is changing. After hours of preparation, strain on our marriage, thousands of dollars, and emotional pooey…..nothing is changing.

Now, what was all this for? It taught Harry and I to work together better, and years down the road when the kids ask, we can say we tried. Was that worth it? My main point of my deleted blog was……why is it so easy to give God the glory when things turn out just the way you wanted them to, and are left in a state of … I don’t even know what….. when it’s exactly opposite of what you were praying for. Maybe the “let Your will be done” gets confused sometimes. We should pray “let Your will be done, if it’s in line with what I want” because isn’t that the way we think at times? Especially if it’s something you’re praying for in your own life. When you have an outcome of a situation that only affects someone else, it’s much easier to say “That’s the way God wanted it”. I know God’s way is not meant to be understood sometimes. Surrendering and submitting is a million times easier when you think you understand why. Does anyone else think that?

Anyway, this is where we sit. My husband cramming fatherhood to these two children into 5 days a month, paying mondo child support, and knowing the kids are in an environment that is not glorifying to God. My question to you today is, how do you know what God’s will is? Is the decision we got where the Lord wants to leave it? If we appeal this whole thing, how do we know we’re not trying to overrule God's decision? We could use the advice, I’m sure. We’re hanging in there, though! We’ll keep praying for clarity in the mean time, cause I know this is a tall order!


Natalie Joy said...

Do you feel at peace with the kids situation? If you feel that God's desire is for the kids to be with you more, did that change because a human judge, a sinful man, said so. Continue to pray. Take a break to refocus an seek Him. And if He says go ahead, fight like heck!! We love you and support you.

Natalie Joy said...

P.S. If you also feel that God has an ultimate purpose in this decision, rest at peace knowing He is in control. And, we still love and support you.