Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas to Me, who is Me anyway?

My Christmas gift came today: Amy Knapp's Christian Family Organizer.

I don't know what I would do without it!!! It came today FedEx. In the process of realizing the FedEx man was stuck in my driveway and needed a shovel, I understood how devoted this man was to bring me my beloved Organizer. So the first thing I did after he got unstuck, is rip open the package and see 2 organizers - the one I ordered AND the "Expecting" Family Organizer....ya, for pregnant women. I wonder if that was supposed to be a funny joke from God. I chuckled as if to say "in your dreams", and maybe he chuckled to say "if you only knew". Let's hope I was right. So I called to see if they wanted me to send it back, but if they don't want it back, do YOU know of anyone who just found out they are expecting??
Moving on...

weekly verse, calendar of before and after months at bottom, weekly grocery list with full-page perforated edge!, daily menu planner on the right, To Do List (very important), and a prayer list - everything you'd need in a planner, right? Love this thing!!! And as I was transferring birthdays into the new planner, I ran across "ANDY DIED" on January 28th, 2008 and got a little choked up as I skimmed what that week held (visitation and funeral arrangements), and glanced up at that weeks verse to the left which says "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." -Proverbs 27:1 NIV

And yes, I chuckled again. At the simple reminder of Andy -- that I am not actually in control. Control flairs up for me at Christmas time. I am in charge of buying, wrapping, writing, organizing (which Amy Knapp helps me do), and well.....managing. So -- balance all that with "I am not in control here". I get confused on this whole issue. In our INSTE study, we had a week that looked at "God is not pleased with self-sufficiency". And I've had to re-evaluate my control issue -- and really worked at balancing this problem I have.

Let me tell you a secret: I have a problem asking for help. With everything. Unless its my husband, that poor guy tolerates mountains of my help-needs and emotional issues. point is...if I pride myself on "doing it all myself" and then I read "God is not pleased with self-sufficiency".... yes, that means change. And change means accepting "you do not know what a day may bring forth".... and changing in being prideful about how much I don't need God - because I just bet that makes Him cringe. How does one go from being "in control of the decisions of my life" to "Letting God be in complete control". And how to approach that change without a "demoted" attitude? That's a whole lotta change for one person. ESPECIALLY when it's Christmas, and I should be open to guidance to shine the light of Jesus - because that's what Christmas is about!!!

I probably should have thought that out a little more before I typed all that. :)

Merry Christmas to you and your families!!! I wish you a self-controlless Christmas! :)


Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to you! I love you very much and am thankful I have a friend like you!

Angela said...

Sounds like a great planner. I love planners! I'm not expecting, but I could pretend! I might try to be if it meant a free planner. He he he...

That was quite a week last January. I am still grateful that you let me be close during that time.

Hope you had a great Christmas. Love you lots.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

This just hit me...hard.

We need to get together for one understands a control freak like another control freak.

Love you my friend!

Cyndie said...

Amie, I sure hope you know that I love you. I love what you and my brother have together.

melanie said...

you suck. cause you always make me cry. i have realized this Christmas even tho i try to control everything.. i have zippo control, nada.
hang onto that freebie... for awhile.. :)