Life's Little Quirks

Coupon match-ups

2009-09-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hy-Vee's ad now has coupon match-ups with their sale items. New every week - check it out. :)
http://www.hy-vee.com/helpful-ideas/coupon-match-ups-09-16-09.aspx

Clean?

2009-08-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

As I clean out the laundry room that is a good year and a half overdue:

Me: Tiff, we're gonna have this cleaned out today! Yay!
Tiff: Who's coming over?

Point taken. Point taken.

Vacation and SIDS walk.

2009-08-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

We went on two vacations all in one week. First was Navoo, IL with Harry's family.

Here we go. Now THIS is vacation:

Goofing off.

This is Tiffany holding her 3rd (?) cousin, Micah. He is 7 weeks and perfect. :)

A fudge shop downtown offered chocolate covered marshmallows with sprinkles (Tiffany calls them sparkles.

Hanging out at the campfire with my awesome neice, Tessa. She cracks me up.

Kids on the beach, making sand art.

Darin tubing - my brother drove the boat. I told Darin if he could stay on without wiping out I would give him 10 bucks, and told my brother that if he could make him tip over, I'd give him 10 bucks. My brother won - we had a good time with it. :)

Ahh, and then the donuts. They make these on ever Wednesday night there, and they are heavenly. Fresh donuts over a fire, dipped in sugar. Yum-o.

Classic Family photo.
Then came home to meet Darin's new teacher in a new school. Exciting! This is his first day of school. He is signed up for football, which he's pumped about. Practice starts next week. He says all the kids are nice there.
We went on the SIDS walk this weekend. Here is my family by Andy's sign along the trail. Picture taken by my faithful friend, Christi. Everyone was so great! It was a bittersweet day. The balloon release was again, so powerful. I just kept thinking about all those people that found their baby no longer breathing......

We will find out this week how much was raised for SIDS research and awareness.

And I leave you with this: Guess which was NOT supposed to be part of the art project?

Baby

2009-08-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep. I am missing Andy. I designed a photo sheet to put in my mug today and picked out a picture of Andy and thought "wow, is that really what he looked like?" The SIDS walk is coming up and has stirred up emotions I thought were not coming back. I know grieving is different for everyone, and this is "normal". But sitting on my couch tonight at 11 crying uncontrollably doesn't feel very normal. I can't even remember what he looks like. Or smells like. or sounds like. or feels like. or squirms like. or squeaks like. I feel like my own memory of my own baby is slipping away without a fight from me. To keep on living without him requires that I push on, but taking his memory with me has been a confusing thing.

Which am I to remember?

I can tell you what the funeral home smelled like, but not my living baby. I can tell you which funeral cards touched me the most, but not his birth cards. I can tell you who was there for the visitation, and not the days of his life. I have learned what it is to "cling" to God, searching for comfort. And I found it. And I won't let it go. Ever. Now I'm left with do I cling to his memory? Any mother would say "of course!" Except the ones who know it hurts. Bad. That's me on a certain level. Not that I want the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality because he was MY BABY. He is home with the Lord now, not mine anymore. Maybe I'm secretly afraid of making Andy a false idol. Bow down at the Andy shrine or leave it and run to God? But, I don't want to forget either, and I am allowing it. Finding a happy medium seems impossible sometimes. Especially tonight.

Blueberry Pies and Puppies

2009-07-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

Dude. 2 months with no posts....I think that's a record for me. I am happy to announce, though, that my husband has fixed my computer, and I am back up and running. Here's a bit of what you missed. Our son, Darin, has always had this big dream of having a blueberry pie eating contest. So here's some pictures of his dream come true! :)

All the contestents lined up......9 of them. I won't give you pictues of all of them with pie all over their faces, because they know where I sleep. But here's a couple.

Juliana smiling at Daddy...this melts my heart.

Christopher laughing at Harry and Darin,...LOVE it.

And Darin. Stuffing his face. LOL

And I almost wonder..........

was it worth it, buddy? :)

Moving on......

Our lovely yellow lab, Sadie, had 9 puppies! The runt didn't make it, but the other 8 did great.

Here's what you missed there.

8 nursing puppies.

Weaning 8 hungry puppies.

Keeping one cuddly puppy. Although, she does not have a name yet.

2nd Honeymoon

2009-05-21T05:36:00.000-07:00

First of all, I will say that plane tickets are pricey - wasn't sure how we were going to fit this trip into the budget, but we were going to do it anyway! Harry's company payed for the vehicle, the gasoline, and the food, so that left shopping, sightseeing, and plane tickets. Some friends of ours have frequent flier miles and they graciously told us they would like us to use them for my trip to see Harry. This trip was a tremendous blessing - thank you God for amazing friends and family and incredible blessings!

I brought my girls to my brother's house on Wednesday night, and headed out on a plane on Thursday morning. I hopped on 3 planes to arrive in Erie, Pennsylvania. Got there with more than an hour to spare, so I waited for Harry to get done with work and meet me back at the room. ..... it had been 5 weeks ..... That night we went to the Peninsula on Lake Erie - it was beautiful. Watched the sunset on the beach, and went to an Italian restaurant that night.

Woke up, had breakfast with Harry and then said goodbye for the day. Listened to him get teased a little by co-trainers ;) and then went shopping by myself without children all day. I kept it at 100 bucks, putting a lot of items BACK on the shelf. Is it just me, or are there more things to look at when children aren't present? When Harry got back, we went to a music store, and he looked at bass guitars, and I played the Bach trumpets there - heaven, I tell you.

Saturday morning we headed off to Niagara Falls. We headed to Canada to see the Falls from there.

It was beautiful. :) And perfect. The flowers below were carefully placed all around Niagara Falls park and walkways.

Then we went back to the hotel and had pizza with Rodger, Harry's friend. Then woke up Sunday morning and went to Grace Church - it was such a friendly church. I felt right at home! After that, we went to the bookstore and then to some of the vineyards between Pennsylvania and New York.

Harry and I like wine, but don't buy it very often because we don't really know what we both like. So we went to Heritage Wine Cellars and did some wine tasting - and it was tasty! We liked a couple of the same kinds, so we bought them and went on our way. I'm looking forward to a few quiet evenings and a glass of wine when he gets home. :)

Then it was Sunday night already! So we went down to Lake Erie again and spent some time relaxing. Harry skipped some stones at my request. :)

Then Monday morning it was off to the airports again! This tunnel is in Detroit airport and it was just great - they have calming music while the lights are going - just fun.

When I got home my sister and her son, and my girls were waiting for me at the airport. I cried. I missed them tons, and it was such a relief to know they would be cared for and loved while we were gone - even when they are a lot of work! :) I don't know how Harry's been gone for 6 weeks without seeing them....that's endurance, friends. Skype just isn't the same as a big daddy bear hug. He will hopefully be home tomorrow for good!!! We can hardly wait!

Ouch!

2009-05-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

Heth taught me about podcasts today. I am on my third sermon tonight as I clean my pig sty of a room. This one talks about Trials: Suffering to Worship. Idol Worship, and I was thinking maybe I didn't have as much work to do on this topic. BOY, was I wrong! Listen to this:

And to seek out not only our sins, but the underlying cause of them namely the idols that we run to, cling to, in place of Jesus. That which we get our identity, our comfort, our security, our salvation, our passion, our pleasure, our hope. Do any of these sound like you: I am a nice person. People like me. And they say nice things about me. If your idol is people-pleasing and fear of man and being liked and being popular - then when people hurl insults at you, when they criticize you for living for Christ, you will have a crisis - because your idol will be threatened. .... ..... ..... but if your idol is "I'm a nice, likable, loved, decent person, and what they're saying is mean and they don't seem to appreciate me, and they're criticizing me, and they're disagreeing with me," you will find yourself, if that is your idol, in this wonderfully joyous moment that you get to decide whether Jesus Christ is Lord or the opinion of others.

Gets me right where it hurts!!! I'm completely hooked.

Hum Dee Dum...

2009-05-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, let's see. What's new. My kids were running completely naked outside all afternoon. And I didn't even stop them. I hope they don't need psychological reviews on childhood memories in their adult years when they get an indecent exposure lock-down. But....with all the magic tricks Harry sent home they should be able to bend the bars just right to escape....or at least entertain the jailers with their pull-the-bunny-from-the-hat trick.

Remember this? We added on. Got a puppy today. He needed a good farm yard to run around on. He is a yellow lab. 6 months old. Name: Diesel. Changing name. I think we will call him Buddy. Buddy will take some training. He has a few little habits we need to talk about.
1. He sniffs our female constantly.
2. Tries to mount. Baaaaad idea. Seriously. There are children watching. We laid the smack-down today.
3. He nibbled a little at Darin's hand - like a puppy would do.
BUT, he was eagerly welcomed in by the kids (Olivia would have rather had a parrot, though) and he didn't jump up on them or scare them at all. So, pictures to come. But, Welcome Buddy! We're glad to try this new adventure out - hope it's a permanent one! Maybe we can pull you from a hat, too. Here. Hold still.

Grocery Sales

2009-04-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Some of these deals were just too good to not post about. If you like Fareway (I shop at both), they will price match for you!! Printables are listed. If you don't other coupons, head over to the recycle center - I bet you could find them! ;)

1 lb. Strawberries 0.99
Hamburger or Chicken Helper 0.99
Chicken of the Sea Tuna 0.66
2 Cups HyVee Cheese 0.99

Barilla Pasta 0.99
PLUS -0.50/1 to -1.00/1 from newspaper insert (not sure which varieties are on sale)

Ragu Sauce 0.99
PLUS -0.30 coupon from newspaper insert

Quaker Granola Bars or Bites 1.99
PLUS -1.00/2 HERE

Hershey's Bliss 3.48
PLUS -1.00/1 HERE

Green Giant Boxed Vegetables 1.28
PLUS -0.60/2 HERE (May need to register)

Old Orchard 64 oz. Juice 0.99
PLUS -1.00/2 HERE

Life Cereal 1.98
PLUS -1.00/1 HERE

Hy-Vee Bacon 1.99
Dole Head of Lettuce 0.69 In-Ad Coupon
Pepsi 12 Pack Cans 3 for 8.88

Hello out there....

2009-04-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

So, I got a call last week from Harry saying I better go buy new make-up because mine is in Pennsylvania. Cool - cuz you know I don't like spending money.....and this means money. So I'm in Stuff-Mart and meet a woman named Michelle that is a Mary Kay consultant. COOL! Yes, please let's get together because this is just too fun. I love new fun people. Went there today and spent 87 bucks on make-up - ME! I know. And I don't feel one bit bad about it. And maybe I found a new friend. LOVE THAT! :) Moving on.....

My computer cord doesn't plug in quite right on my computer and I have 32% battery remaining before it shuts down on me. Last night I propped up the cord with a Barney Colors book to make sure it hit the plug-in just right and charged. I have sucked 70% of my laptop battery's life out in one day.....and still more, because I'm not done.

A beautiful woman prayed for me this week and I have felt more energized to complete tasks at home and have a positive outlook. I was feeling a little worn, but I'm okay now. (new make-up helps a little)

And just in case you were wondering:
*I laugh at my own jokes.....in my own head
*I don't exercise
*I don't wash my face until I shower
*I like to watch cartoons maybe more than my kids
*Bugs are coming - creeps me out.
*I don't eat breakfast....unless you count coffee and marshmallow cream
*Did I mention I have tons of cavities, but I'm not a fan of dentist visits? It stems back to childhood. All the kids had tons of stickers because they had a visit with no cavities. Not me. I had 4 stars my whole childhood. Visited twice a year. You do the math.
*I am flying out to see my husband around the 15th of May. I am almost finished packing. Not kidding.
*I have a had a super busy week last week, and another this week. AND I like it.
*I'm bummed that there are no double coupons this week at K-Mart in my area this week.
*I have had my kids in my bed every morning this week since Harry's gone. I am so against that habit, and here I am, welcoming them in, cuddling the night away, with my INSTE book.
*I feel so blessed for great friends this week. :)
*Am surprised Beth didn't post about the dorky girl who came into the library that she knew, but the dork didn't know her, and wasn't smart enough to put 2 and 2 together. Out of context - you don't really EXPECT to run into anyone from blogsphere, do you? ME NEITHER. She forgave the dork very gracefully and didn't even make her feel bad.

Easter Thoughts

2009-04-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

Easter is especially overwhelming for me. Not the holiday, or the huffle-buffle of the easter bunny. But the Meaning of Easter. As I watched "The Passion of the Christ" on Friday, I was reminded of what it was really all about. I think about choices. God CHOSE to come to this earth to teach us, and then to die for us. It wasn't a situation that he was forced into.....it was His CHOICE. As I watched him be betrayed and beaten and bloody, the phrase "this was His choice" kept coming back. He really chose to do all that. I may have backed out after the second guy spit on me. But not Him. He could have chosen to back out at any minute -He had power over everything. And He didn't back out. Not once. He chose us instead.

What did I ever do right to deserve that? Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing, nothing, nothing. So my question is why? Why did he come? The only thing I can come up with in my earthly brain is that He is loving and unselfish. Obviously, Amie, right? I was always a little slower than the rest. Now you know.

I have no idea what it is to be unselfish. Sometimes I change a diaper so I don't have to smell it anymore. And sometimes I clean my house to escape the embarrassment of a visiting friend. And since we're being honest, sometimes, I even do nice things for people to obtain the praises of man. Maybe more than sometimes. On God's level, I don't know what it is to be loving, either. Patient......nope. Proud.....that's a laugh. Rude......when I'm not hungry or tired. Self-seeking.....I think we covered that. Does not demand my own way......laugh. Never fails......big laugh.

It's really not funny, though. Honestly, it makes me cry. I fall short every day to meet his expectations, and He still chooses me. Little ol' me. Sometimes I wonder ....doesn't he have anything better to do? Yes, He does. But maybe He loves me like a child loves their creations. A picture they colored, a play-dough sculpture, or a Lego jeep. Maybe He holds me up and says "LOOK! I MADE THIS!" And although I hope I am not stuck to a refrigerator with a magnet, I take joy that he made me, and chooses me every day, and loves me just as I am, because I know He's the only one that I will have forever. 2 weeks with the same person 24 hours a day would drive most people crazy......but not God. He loves you every minute, every hour, every day, just as you are. He chooses you.

Help, anyone?

2009-04-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

I
I need
I need a
I need a great
I need a great book
I need a great book for
I need a great book for a
I need a great book for a misbehaving
I need a great book for a misbehaving child.
FOR ME. HELP. PLEASE.

Need some motivational ideas for the boy around here.

Winner

2009-04-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

Turns out my hubby reads my blogs. :) He looked over the acronyms on my last post and put it to use!! As he was driving to work this morning, he was scanning the radio stations and caught a question of the morning which was "What does the acronym 'PLOS' mean when a child is chatting online or texting?" And he called in and answered Parents Looking Over Shoulder and won 2 tickets to Gallagher Bluedorn! for this. Now he's male and can't go, but winning stuff is super cool - can't beat that! :) So there ya' go - there IS a point to my blog!

acronyms while chatting

2009-03-26T21:23:00.001-07:00

Hey, I'm going to start one of those great e-mails that says you need to forward everyone on your list within 9 minutes or a truck will run over your favorite hat.
It will go like this:
Do you have a teenager? Do you want to know what they are texting or chatting by abbreviations that they use? Go here.
http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php
Send this to 273 people in the next 9 minutes and you will win the lottery - even if you don't play it. If you don't send it, a truck will run over your favorite hat this week.

I got nothin'.

2009-03-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Knew I needed to blog today, but not sure about what. My floor is swept, my dishes are done, my 3 loads of laundry is waiting to be folded and put away, and my half-caff coffee is waiting for Coffee-Mate, and then to be drank. I have a couple rooms full of "garage sale" boxes, along with an entire attic. Seriously, I want to get rid of EVERYTHING. Bananas are brown on the counter - I will be making banana bread today, along with chocolate cookies this weekend.

Ask me what "Doyle's Ditty" was last night at INSTE? Ask me! It's from Paul Harvey and it says "If you don't live it you don't believe it". It is going on my fridge for a long long long time.

My sister bought me one of these and I am going to make popcorn every day of the rest of my life, I think. She's the best. It came with a recipe book!!! Let me just share a recipe that I want to try out this weekend - Italian Breadstick-Style Popcorn

1 T Basil (my FAVORITE)
1 T parsley
1 lg. garlic clove, or 1/4 t. powder
1 t. salt
2 T olive oil

5 T popping corn
2 T olive oil

Lately.....

2009-03-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little discouraged today. To give you a recap of the last week. My step-son has been difficult at his mother's house. She has asked us to take him a few times in the last few months. He is too big for her to physically handle him and he is acting out. So with Harry being gone, I agreed to take him, but it had to be for a minimum of 6 months. So Sept. 2nd, we will reevaluate, but for now I will be getting guardianship of him. Last week went GREAT at home, and he had a little trouble at school. yesterday he had a great day at school, and we had a difficult night.

Let me just say he didn't come to the van after school like he was supposed to, which only escalated from there. He referred to me as his fake mom yesterday. Let me just say I am very frustrated with his mother, and am trying to keep that under control. He did great with the schedule and rules last week, but I feel like I am trying to redo the last 8 years of learning all at once. I was telling God last night that I am so weary, and He whispered a reminder in my ear "Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Okay. We really can't do this without You. And we can absolutely apply Your Word when the going gets tough. So there's a little prayer request for you. Trying to find just the right balance.

What do you need?

2009-03-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

Looking for a great deal on diapers? Go HERE
Want 100 free business cards with free shipping? Go HERE
Looking for a job in housekeeping? Come HERE! I could keep you employed for a 3 years.

My Husband

2009-02-24T20:39:00.000-08:00

He loves me. :) Can you tell?

Harry went back to work after New Years Day, and was laid off from his job temporarily. So he stayed home and warmed up the couch a lot, trying to find a job on the internet. And I am happy to say all that warming paid off! I could keep my feet warm AND he started a job at Steris last week! He had worked at his job for 17 years, and the last couple years, he knew it was going to be time for something else in the near future. Harry has always liked to feel "secure", and when that is thrown off, he is thrown off. :) I can say that because he will love me anyway.

I will be slowing down on the blogging, I'm sure. Here's why:

He is still in Iowa, but we will only get to see him on weekends for the next 4 weekends or so. Then he will be off to Ohio for a couple weeks, and then to Pennsylvania for 9 (NINE) weeks. He is planning to be back home at least by the middle of June. I will have to fly out and see him - he is a couple hours from Niagara Falls during the Pennsylvania weeks!

Anyway, this single mom thing isn't really what I had in mind while he was couch warming. I miss him. TONS. Even in the first week, I have quickly realized how much he really does for me. He keeps the girls occupied so I can actually get caught up on loose-ends housework (laundry put away, mail sorted, etc.). He would stay in the bathroom during bath time and I could clean up from supper. He picks on me enough to keep me smiling. He did my dishes while he was home. I MISS THAT ALREADY. And I really realized it when I went to the basement today to get some cookie dough from the freezer and found 4-6 inches of water covering the floor. Cool, huh?

Sump pump went out, Ray came over with a little pump, and fixed us up for now. Things will obviously go wrong in my house before June hits, but who will fix it for me? My fantastic husband does all the work on our cars, all the heavy-duty work, lifting, maintenance on everything (even if it doesn't need it!), and still keeps my feet warm at night. I love that man. He's my best friend. The girls aren't real thrilled about him being gone - let's just leave it at that. :) come back soon, honey! But, congratulations on finding a secure job, no matter what the economy does! I know it will be well worth it at the end of this!

Just for Fun

2009-02-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

Daddy and Tiffany peeling a little orange, making small talk. Popping all the little seeds out and setting them beside the peels. And very matter-of-factly, Tiffany says "And Jesus said Don't eat the seeds."

I wonder what she is referring to......
Luke 8:15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart.....
1 Peter 1:23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.

And yesterday she was holding her baby and asked her 2 year old sister "What does a baby say?" and her sister wipes her eyes and answers "WAAAAA" and Tiffany the Teacher says "Very Good!!" in a very encouraging voice.

Or when they fight like crazy girls until they are upstairs in bed, then it's a big slumber party....giggling and laughing. Tiffany tries to talk her sister into doing who knows what.....and follows up with "Oh Come on! Be FUN!"

Most days...if I stop what I'm doing and just watch them - I can't help but crack up.

Deals for the day

2009-02-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

Old Navy had a Valentine's Coupon: $5 off any purchase when you color a valentine. So we did. All of us. :) So we had 5 coupons = $25 off today! Woo Hoo! White pack of socks to the left were marked 8.99, plus 50% off. $4.50 with a $5 coupon is FREE! The white shirts, blue shirts, and brown pants to the left were on sale for 2 FOR $6. So Tiffany and Stacy bought their own. $6 minus $5 coupon = $1.00 for 2 items. Stoked. Then the individual socks were 10 for $10. So those ended up to be $5 after the coupon. Then we headed to Younkers and bought TWO 2-packs of leggings on the right. The 2-packs were $22.00, marked down to $5.14!

Total today (including tax) for 6 pants, 4 shirts, and 20 socks in the picture: 8.56 Old Navy + 10:28 Younkers = $18.84
New clothes that will fit this year = priceless.

Save Some Money with me.

2009-02-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

My name is Amie, and I am a coupon-holic. I love words like BOGO (buy one get one) and FREE! I have had a lot of questions about where I get my coupons and how much time it really takes. I guess this disease I have is contagious? So here goes all my secrets ;)

#1. The Recycle Center. It is a bit humbling digging through the newspaper bin for coupon inserts, but seriously - more coupons than you will need. But they are free - beats a $2 paper every week.

#2. Click here: The Coupon Loop - great.

#3. And here: SD - seriously great.

#4. Target Coupons

#5. Betty Crocker Coupons

#6. Pillsbury Coupons

#7. Smart Source Online

#8. Coupons.com

#9. Search by Store

#10. Or circulars for all local stores here

#11. A few great blogs:
Coupon Geek
Coupon Saving Family
Savvy Savings Tucson
Frugal in Virginia
Common Sense With Money
The downfall? Different states = different grocery stores. Haven't found one in Iowa yet. So I'd like to be it. Except by the time I get done reading and looking at all this, I don't have much time to type out my grocery list with corresponding store and coupon deals. But I am going to start trying. But I need your vote!!! Should I post this stuff on my this blog - or use the "Save a buck" blog?

What would you like to know about saving money??

Baby, Baby

2009-01-28T20:37:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhhhh.....

We made it through the year.

We have been without you for a whole year, but you are still just as real in our hearts. Our love for you has not faded, has not been forgotten. Although I have missed your new baby smell, and the classic first birthday cake pictures ... you somehow have this imprint on my soul that I am confident will never leave me. So much of you has made me who I am, and your life continues to make me into who I am to be. I have learned so much by having you on the earth for a blink of an eye, and have grown so much by having to learn to let you go, and especially by reaching out to my Savior -- the One who holds you now -- the One that has held me this year, and the One that will hold us together someday. Actually, I know you're the lucky one. I bet you're having a celebration of a lifetime today.....and every day. I miss you so much!

Trying to be patient.....

-Mommy

Stacy Jean Is 2 Today!

2009-01-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

My parents drove down all the way from Minnesota to come to Chuck E. Cheese's for Stacy's 2nd Birthday! I was so excited! This is classic:

Stacy and Me eating cake off the candles. :)

Daddy and DarinTiffany very excited about her tickets to put in the Ticket Muncher!
Aunt Wendy and Jerry came!

And Tessa and Christopher!And Cameron and Brenda and sweet girls!

I was so happy they all came out today and we got to hang out together. My brother wasn't able to make it, but we still adore him. :) Believe it or not, this is the first real party we have had for a birthday - we usually just hang out at home and have cake and ice cream with presents, then a bath, then bed.

I leaned over to Harry today and told him that this sure beats the c-section 2 years ago! She came out something like this:

Stacy cracks me up. She makes faces and eye contact that can crack me up in 0.5 seconds. :) I wouldn't trade her for anything!!! Even on her bad days! Love you Stacy!

Question of the Day

2009-01-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

If you never comment on my blog, today is the day!

My hubby and I are in a bit of a debate. And it's so important that I thought I'd ask my bloggy friends:

???? What age, in your opinion, is Over The Hill ????

Brrrrr

2009-01-16T15:40:00.000-08:00

It's not really news to say that it's cold out. I think we all know that. But seriously....this picture was taken inside my house - normally there is not too much draft in the kitchen. But today, we got this:

Cool, huh?

The little hinges on the door were white with frost, too. Nice. And I wonder why the girls are found in my bed in the morning. Queen sized bed - 4 people. Guess I can't blame them, though. My morning breath rocks.

Scrappin' Girls

2009-01-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

So my amazing weekend is recorded here. A scrapbooking retreat that I really really really really wanted. And I was looking at not going - it wasn't exactly in the budget. And then my friend calls me and says my weekend has been taken care of and all I have to do is show up - because they just want me to go. A couple days later, my husband gets laid off from his job - making the $70 weekend out of the question without these two women.

These 2 wonderful ladies paid my weekend - I spent a total of $8.19. $4 on paper and $4.19 on a rare treat my hubby doesn't find much. 4 grams of trans fat per serving - these things are awesome. But SO not good for you. Aaaaanyway.....I got Andy's scrapbook DONE up to the point of his gravestone being placed in the cemetery. And I cried a lot. No, it was more like a ton. By Saturday afternoon, I wasn't even going to attempt to reapply make-up. And it was healing - amazingly healing. And the best part? I had two women who were there for me. There's not a whole lot of support in my bedroom at my craft desk upstairs after everyone has gone to sleep. I had friends to cry with, and pause with, and reflect with, and talk with, and laugh with.....at laugh at. :) And they helped me keep on keeping on. I took a couple breaks, but I accomplished what I went there to accomplish - and Jenni and Sarah made such a difference in my life by holding me up and encouraging me and being so giving by taking care of my cost, and by just being there with me. I love them both. so. so. much. Jenni doesn't have a blog....yet.....but Sarah does - so stop on by here and give her a little love. She has great reads. :)

And on the 4th day.....

2009-01-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

Harry is home today for his 4th day in a row. He has this "sit and relax with me" way about him. So how could I argue?

and I haven't finished anything. We watched a couple movies. We are taking turns playing this. And we have planted ourselves on the couch. for 4 days. Tiffany is sick today - she has a bowl in hand, and eyes glued to the tv - on the couch. So I will pick up some lysol spray tonight, but until then - here we will sit. :)

For 4 days?!

Women of all tongue sizes....

2008-12-31T03:38:00.000-08:00

I woke up early this morning, and came downstairs to READ A BOOK - I KNOW!!! Me, read a book....and as I thumbed through it, it turns out - I've actually finished this one before!! ;) "A Wife After God's Own Heart". So there is another tally mark for the rare "finished book" chart. Woo hoo!

It talks about the tongue. Evil little thing. A crabby, cranky, nagging, quarrelsome, complaining, ill-tempered wife is biblical. The Bad kind of biblical, though - ranks right up there with tax collectors. She writes "It not only drives a husband crazy, but it can also drive him away. To escape the constant drip, drip, drip of a wife's sour, negative words, a husband will choose to live in the attic, on the porch, on the rooftop, or even in the wilds. He would rather risk the elements, do without the shelter and comfort of home, even take his chances against the threat of wild animals than stay one more second in the presence of a belligerent wife." That's quite the power we have there, ladies!

(paraphrased from book)
My speech is to be:
**soft. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
**sweet. Pleasant words promote instruction and understanding.
**suitable. kind, sweet words have a medicinal effect on both body and soul.
**scant. Sometimes the most skillful use of the tongue is keeping it still.
**slow. Listen much, speak little, and not become angry.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Merry Christmas to Me, who is Me anyway?

2008-12-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

My Christmas gift came today: Amy Knapp's Christian Family Organizer.

I don't know what I would do without it!!! It came today FedEx. In the process of realizing the FedEx man was stuck in my driveway and needed a shovel, I understood how devoted this man was to bring me my beloved Organizer. So the first thing I did after he got unstuck, is rip open the package and see 2 organizers - the one I ordered AND the "Expecting" Family Organizer....ya, for pregnant women. I wonder if that was supposed to be a funny joke from God. I chuckled as if to say "in your dreams", and maybe he chuckled to say "if you only knew". Let's hope I was right. So I called to see if they wanted me to send it back, but if they don't want it back, do YOU know of anyone who just found out they are expecting??
Moving on...

weekly verse, calendar of before and after months at bottom, weekly grocery list with full-page perforated edge!, daily menu planner on the right, To Do List (very important), and a prayer list - everything you'd need in a planner, right? Love this thing!!! And as I was transferring birthdays into the new planner, I ran across "ANDY DIED" on January 28th, 2008 and got a little choked up as I skimmed what that week held (visitation and funeral arrangements), and glanced up at that weeks verse to the left which says "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." -Proverbs 27:1 NIV

And yes, I chuckled again. At the simple reminder of Andy -- that I am not actually in control. Control flairs up for me at Christmas time. I am in charge of buying, wrapping, writing, organizing (which Amy Knapp helps me do), and well.....managing. So -- balance all that with "I am not in control here". I get confused on this whole issue. In our INSTE study, we had a week that looked at "God is not pleased with self-sufficiency". And I've had to re-evaluate my control issue -- and really worked at balancing this problem I have.

Let me tell you a secret: I have a problem asking for help. With everything. Unless its my husband, that poor guy tolerates mountains of my help-needs and emotional issues. So...my point is...if I pride myself on "doing it all myself" and then I read "God is not pleased with self-sufficiency".... yes, that means change. And change means accepting "you do not know what a day may bring forth".... and changing in being prideful about how much I don't need God - because I just bet that makes Him cringe. How does one go from being "in control of the decisions of my life" to "Letting God be in complete control". And how to approach that change without a "demoted" attitude? That's a whole lotta change for one person. ESPECIALLY when it's Christmas, and I should be open to guidance to shine the light of Jesus - because that's what Christmas is about!!!

I probably should have thought that out a little more before I typed all that. :)

Merry Christmas to you and your families!!! I wish you a self-controlless Christmas! :)

This is LOVE

2008-12-21T19:02:00.000-08:00

This is me and my 2 sisters on vacation last summer. I LOVE THEM!!!!!

I love that I can call them my closest friends. Comfortable. :) Now, although we try not to make a habit out of being weird about being close, we can share a bathroom, tell each other when something is in our teeth, fix each other's make-up, give kisses to each other's children, and let each other in on the embarassing things that no one else would tell us about. I love my sisters.

VERY IMPORTANT: if you see the sister in the middle, "WENDY", give her a hug! She has a phobia. Please help her. And if you see the one on the right, "BRENDA", tell her how beautiful she is! She is in denial. And if you see me, ask me to make you a plate of cookies. I learned from my ever-so-talented Mommy. My beautiful mommy that taught me everything she knows. :)

Andy's Birthday

2008-12-19T21:22:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!

The last few weeks have been so emotional - then today came - and it went great! Bittersweet, that's for sure - but comforting. Harry took the day off today. We played in the snow a little, took a bath and nap, picked up some balloons, then went to the cemetery. My parents purchased one of these candles (pictured below) for Andy's birthday. You light the candle that goes inside the blue holder, put the lid on, and it will burn for 7 days. So we lit it again today, the 19th, and it will burn until Christmas. At night time, the flame looks red with glowing blue around it - it is beautiful. A light in the darkness. Very visible from the road. We love it!

And a beautiful wreath with butterflies from Aunt Wendy's family.

The girls both shouted out when they saw the ELMO balloon at the store, so that was the obvious choice for a first birthday party. :)

We each got our own balloon, and yelled up to Andy as we sent them off. "Say HI to Jesus for us!" "Happy Birthday" "We miss you!" "Have fun with your Elmo balloon!" "Love You"

then we brought the girls to amazing people....perhaps angels.... for a few hours. Harry and I went out to eat, stopped at a couple stores, and just got a chance to relax and spend some time together - something we've really needed! Then picked the very happy girls up and went home to have Andy's blue jello cake. We had to sing REALLY LOUD to make sure he heard us. And big sisters always help blow out the first candle.

This next one is a for you - a video: Stacy got to "cough" the candle out this time. :)

We sure do miss you, little guy.

Held

2008-12-12T03:33:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my sister last week and she was wondering how I look so strong on the outside, because inside it must be killing me. I love her. And as I was driving home, I was praying for the chance to explain it the best way I could - and the song "Held" came on. I, for the first time, started really listening to the words. Then came the lightbulb in my head. Thank you, Lord. Instantly answered prayer - why can't they all be this easy? "We survive."

And his birthday next week........so held. "We will survive."

I unpacked a Christmas box filled with ornaments, and found a couple "baby's first Christmas" ornaments ready to be hung on the tree. I had packed it last year in January while Andy was still alive. And I dug a little more and found two little onesies 3-6 month size. "And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held."

Go Here and listen if you have a minute today.

Prayertime

2008-12-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

Daddy prayed at supper tonight, and Stacy followed right along. It went something like this:

Lord, thank you for this food....
(echo) Food...

and please bless it to our bodies....
(echo) o potty...

I love life's smiles. Especially the unexpected ones.

Andy

2008-11-11T11:20:00.000-08:00

Been thinking lately...

Next month Andy would have been one year old. He most likely would have been walking by now. Would be taking plenty of abuse from his bully sisters, and been able to eat table food with us. He would have been able to hold his own, I'm sure.

I still cry.

You know, I had 3 babies in the hospital, and with each one, I read those SIDS pamphlets - "studies show.....laying babies on their backs are less likely to die of SIDS". And, I always tossed it aside like I was exempt. Saying to myself "oh, that wouldn't apply to me. I love babies. and mommies who love their babies - and LIKE their babies ....well, it just wouldn't apply. Look how healthy he is. Why do they even give these pamphlets out? I suppose it would apply to SOMEONE, though. By the time Andy was born, I had laid both my girls on their bellies with pillows sometimes, and they were just fine". I still hear that from people so much. Which is one reason why I hesitate to write this today. Because - In my head, I understand that the guilt I carry from Andy's death is wrong. And i still can't let go of it. It's become something I have to ask God to keep taking - daily. Somehow, I manage to snatch it back from Him - daily. This was the last picture I took of him alive:

And this was the next one on my camera:

I can still smell the funeral home. A bit like men's cologne. How did this seemingly perfect-packaged life we had get so tangled in a few short minutes? Andy died. I have yet to say that out lout, believe it or not. Call that lack of acceptance, I guess.

*How many kids do you have?
*How old are your kids?
*Any boys?
*Wow, you have your hands full.
*About time for another one?
And with each of these questions and comments I get from strangers, I have to pause and remember that it's wrong to punch in the face. Obviously, they just wouldn't have any way of knowing... I feel a blow to the heart, but most of the time I just smile. And it's about that time when I hear a baby cry in Wal-Mart as another mom is yelling at her children to be quiet and I think to myself "if she only knew what the silence was like...."

and I cry.

I still have visions and nighmares about my girls dying. And the possibility of that happening....blah, blah, blah. Reason has not worked very deep in my heart yet, although it has tried taking over in my head. AND I REALIZE:

The condition in my heart is going to overpower anything I have going on in my head. I will come back to blogging some day.

Free Starbucks

2008-10-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so normally I will put things like this on my Save a Buck blog, but it was too good to not share at this one, first since the other blog is new. Go here to print your coupon for a free tall-sized latte, cappuccino, espresso, freshly-brewed coffee, or hot tea (up to $3.20 in value). The coupon expires October 31, 2008. Good at Barnes and Noble Starbucks. Go, go! Thanks, BeCentsAble!

Distracted......and walnuts!

2008-10-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

So I really am here....just occupied.
Set up a couple new things this week.

#1: SAVE A BUCK blog
This is my saving money blog, cuz I'm all about that. And I need a place to keep track!

#2: A Shutterfly Page
In Progress!!!

But I will post about walnuts today, anyway. We decided to gather them up this year and really USE them, cuz they are just sitting there.....free! And I like free food. So it started out with rubber gloves and this:

then Farmer Ray came up and showed us this, which cut the time on this process to a small fraction of the picture above:

I wonder if my kids will become mud if they stay in it too long....

I GOT ONE! And...6 Randoms.

2008-10-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

A little absent, I know!

Sarah and Life in the Parsonage passed this award onto me for THIS post! And I am so excited!!!

Thank you Sarah!!! And the first post that came to mind (when i realized I probably couldn't hang on to my first blogging award ever!) was Mel's ....well go HERE and read it. So congrats Mel!

And I am posting a meme today!
Here are the rules.....
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. Write 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4. If you are tagged, just do it, and pass the tag along!!

1. Heth posted this and I thought I'd put in my two cents.
The dentist....I fell asleep once....or maybe a lot more than once....the root canal a month or so ago was GREAT because they put that blanket around the tooth and around your mouth, so all you have to do is lay there and breathe through your nose.... and they aren't shoving anything else in your mouth.... or down your throat. Or that nasty orange/cherry/mint trays of goop that you have to gag on and try to suck out with that sucker-tool-thing.....Can. I. Rinse. Now. Please.

2. Thinking cheap, oh wait - not cheap - FRUGAL Christmas gifts. So, we have zipper pulls - I bought charms at Hobby Lobby for half off and some beads. And, I thought of sewing those I-Spy bags (with rice and other goofy things in it). There is a plastic window in the front, and you move the rice around to find the other items in the bag - good car toy. And we still have that fake leg out in the garage as a gag gift.....I wonder who I could give that to.

3. My daughter fell asleep tonight as we were rubbing noses. :) I laid down next to her and cuddle. And she says "I yuv you" and I say "I love you more" and she says "Yuv you most" and I say "I love you most most" and she says "Yuv you best best". And I play with her hair or sing her the fu-fine (You are my sunshine) song. She's a cuddle girl.

4. I carry a hunter's safety card in my wallet. Now, my dad and brother hunt for deer mostly. And my 2 sisters love the hunting of the deer as well. Now me? I like the process of, but not a big fan of "after the kill". They have this rule - you gut your own deer. Now. Seriously. THAT is the man's job. And what's the deal with paying an arm and a leg to process the meat? And why don't they have deer season when it is 70 degrees outside. My 3rd toe on my right foot froze off 2 years ago sitting in the woods waiting for a deer to walk by. My dad was amuzing, though - I would sit out in the woods with him again and just spend some time with him. BUT....first week of December is , ah, how you say, COLD. So my dad and all my siblings go hunting, and my mom and I take all the kids to one house and make Christmas cookies with them all. Avoidance of smelly deer insides and frozen toes? And the runny nose you get in the cold that your huge gloves can't grip so you just wipe it on your sleeves? We. Win.

5. I start too many projects at once. And don't finish them. I was doing a bible study and we were supposed to list the books we have enjoyed to read. So I thought.... And. Thought. And. Realized.... I'm not sure I've ever finished one. And in turn, realized that......I bet I know where all my bookmarks are. Have you tried looking on the bookshelf inside the books? No, didn't think of that.

6. I am a first degree black belt in TaeKwondo. I used to break boards like I now break plastic forks. I am SuperWoman! But do you think I could get all the ice cubes out of the tray and into my cup? No. Biggest loser - right here. Side note: husband was a wrestler - it's a pretty good match, but I "let" him win. every. time.

I tag anyone who needs a post idea. :)

Turn out.

2008-10-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

H:
Subtotal: $43.58
NOTE: I DID buy colored marshmallows for .77that was not on my list - to distract the kids from running up and down the isles. Bribery. Thanks, Heth.
4 Store Coupons: $2.91
11 Vendor Coupons: $9.80
Balance Due $30.87

F:
Subtotal: $17.27
Vendor Coupons: $8.60
Balance Due: $8.67

$21.31 in coupons - I like that better.
That's a thirty percent off deal on groceries, I guess.

Coupons

2008-10-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

So, I've been trying to be frugal. Grocery prices are gut-wrenching. And I thought I would share with you my grocery list today - aren't you special? I love looking at the ads for awesomely low prices, and then adding coupons to it. Nothing is free this week but we have 25 cent veggies. :) Now, we have 2 local grocery stores that I am shopping at this week. One is F and the other is H.

At F:
Hamburger Helper .99
save .80/three here

Grapes .99/lb.

Betty Crocker Specialty Potatoes $1
Save .40 on one here
=.60 each

Progresso soup 3/$4
Save $1.10/three here
= .83 each (that was head math...lol, may be wrong)

Pillsbury Crescent and sweet rolls $1.50
Save $1/1, but I can't find it back to link you. :)
=.50 each

Green Giant Valley Fresh Steamers 4/$5
Save $1/1 here
= .25 each!!!

And At H:
Banquet Meals for Hubby .90
save .50/6 coupon from package
=4.90/6....., right? I so need a calcuboomer

HJ Pancake Mix 1.58

Store Coupons
.99 for 6 ct. applesauce (fits great in diaper bag)
.77 for 16 oz. Sour Cream
.88 for powdered or brown sugar

Cheerios $2
save $1/1 here, may be by e-mail
and perhaps general mills save 1.50/3 cereal from insert
=.50 per box

Oreos for Harry $2.50

Coffee-Mate Creamer 32 oz. 2.99, gotta have it
Save $1/1 here

Green Giant Vegetables (box) $1.25
Save $1/2 here
=.75 each

Pizza Rolls (for easy lunches for girls) $2.90
Save $1/1 here

Chex Mix (for craft night) $1.00
Save .60/1 here
=.40 per bag

There you have it. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I am becoming a coupon-holic. Go here or here or here or here to get a start. You may have to SIGN UP or something, but it is completely worth it - try setting up a new e-mail account if you are worried about junk mail problems and use it for coupons/promotions only. :) And don't freak out if you have to download some kind of coupon converter deal - it takes about 30 seconds and doesn't even bug down your computer. Anyone bitin'?

Tunes from my home to yours!

2008-09-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

Linda is hosting a camera party! :) But, you get music instead, and not just any music.....but KIDS music!

So I started with this Barney song.......and then REALIZED.....

That you really NEEDED this, at your request of course:

Messy Heart

2008-09-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

As I step over the toys and walk by the piles of laundry, I often wonder how and why this mess keeps on showing its face. “Didn’t I clean that up already A MINUTE AGO? And almost every day, I think about boxing it all up to the attic! Taking care of it once and for all!

The same is true for the mess in my heart. A section or two of my heart is called “under the bed, covered by bedskirt” and “stuffed in the closet and close the door”. In these places, my heart is still be a mess, but no one can see my hidden disaster with the plastic smile I have learned to wear so well. These hiding places perfectly fit unforgiveness, judgments, addictions, gossip, hurts, fears, etc.

Would you like to know a great thing about God? (You say, me! me! Pick me!) He created us as INDIVIDUALS. We aren’t supposed to be a bunch of cherries mixed up in a cherry pie - tasting all the same. We are more like a chicken pot pie. You may be the carrot, I am so the chicken. So often I look at other women and think “I wish I had that quality” or “they do that so much better than I ever could” or “she always looks so beautiful and put together”. And I find myself on a lower level as them. That I am not as important because, seriously, what does someone like me have to offer? And look at them - they are so…….so……..Christian!

Christian? We are not supposed to be the same! We aren’t all supposed to have a gift for baking, or keeping our house spotless, and we don’t have to long for the patience THAT woman has. Because we are who we are - and God DELIGHTS in that! It is difficult to let Him at times, that’s for sure. Our doubts and fears about ourselves take over, but He whispers “Come to me. Simply come. Just as you are.”

Zoo Temps

2008-09-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

Look at these adorable things that Harry got at the store - clearanced out to make great future baby gifts! As I read the label (which does not change my mind about giving them as gifts, by the way).....
NOTE: Drinking hot or cold fluids, exercising, smoking or performing other activities may raise or lower your temperature. Therefore, it is important to RELAX FOR 5 MINUTES WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED PRIOR TO TAKING A READING.

lol, crack me up. They don't really mean that, do they? Maybe they didn't have my kids in mind....

We've gained a hundred pounds.

2008-09-21T20:17:00.001-07:00

Literally.

Paired up with 2 bushels of pears: 103.5 pounds....plus her 30 pounds.

Makes this, minus what the pair ate. :)

Seriously. What's the point?

2008-09-16T05:41:00.000-07:00

To Hubby:

2008-09-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

I've loved you from that first moment we locked eyes. Even more when you carried that huge box of candy to my car for me on our first date. And when you teared up as I walked down the isle. And the wedding night, and the honeymoon. We've had some great discussions. Important Fights. Great loss. Great gain. Good days. Bad days. Surgeries. Financial Trouble. Financial Resolution. Relocation. New Life. Death. Hope. Not bad in four years. Not bad.

Want to know something? You're still my favorite.

Happy Anniversary, Baby.

p.s. thanks for putting up with the laundry all over the house :)

Parents

2008-09-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

Free Magazine Subscription! Go ahead and sign someone up that you know. Thanks, Frugal in Virginia!

Free Padlock

2008-09-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Headed to Sears anytime soon? Go grab a free padlock - on me. :)

Changing Seasons

2008-09-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

~Changing Seasons~

Yesterday we were walking in from the garden and the girls were on the lawn mower with Harry, and I suddenly remembered I don't have a car seat attached to my arm....then I pause and realize.... it's in the attic. Andy isn't here anymore and Stacy is running around like a big girl.

I had this summer all planned out. the girls would run around and help pull weeds, pick grapes, pick veggies, and Andy would be taking naps in the car seat under the shade tree. Or crawling around eating dirt and worms. I hadn't realized it was still in my heart as the plan. :)

~Changing Seasons~

We left the eggplant, jalepenos, squash, and some tomato plants - the rest is mowed down. Done. I am wearing a sweatshirt and summer is nearing the end. I normally just. don't. like. winter. It's cold. And my feet have about no circulation. So I crawl into bed and automatically attach my toes to my husband's leg to warm them up. Out come the fuzzy socks. I have mixed feelings this year about winter. Surprisingly, I am looking forward to it. Maybe not the bulky winter coats and muddy slush on the floor.....but the calm. The snowed-in days. Snowmen. Candles. Warm chocolate chip cookies.

But before winter, the pumpkin carving. Nice, eh?

Now who will help me EAT the food?

2008-09-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

Country Livin'

2008-09-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

My hubby found this site:

http://www.kountrylife.com/contents.htm

Seriously. How to weigh a pig without a scale... lol

Wordless Wednesday.

2008-09-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

Kitchen Updated

2008-08-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

Although the carpet in the kitchen was comfortable......

This was proof that it HAD to go! We rent this house, by the way, and this is what we found under the carpet. A very thin padding - and can you imagine how long this has been here?? GROSS!My new floor with my coffee mat. :) When I get the walls painted and border up, I'll post it for ya.

2008 SIDS Walk

2008-08-28T04:28:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone for showing us so much support!! We had a great time at the SIDS walk! It was very bittersweet.

My friend, Christi. She drove all the way up to Mason City to support me. She dropped everything with little info of what was going on the morning Andy died and came to watch the girls while we were at the hospital with him. She is the most amazing friend. She drove over to bring me cheddar bay biscuits when I was having one of those pregnant cravings. She's always here to talk to. I love her.

But, let's play a game - how many chins does Amie have? and Christi - how do you get your teeth so white??

and here is the balloon release - we had a welcome and memorial time for our babies and then released the balloons. as I watched them fly up into the cloudless blue sky, I was overwhelmed. Harry and I held each other and sobbed. I understood where Andy was. I watched the many balloons floating together and I was amazed - that's too many babies.

They had popcorn, snow cones, face/hand painting, air-jumping for the kids, and...

Raffles. My girls won this girly basket with lots of summer activities - they chased bubbles for a good 20 minutes after opening it.

As I watched the line of many many people in front of us during the walk, and babies names on posters along the path, I just walked with tears. Where have these people been? What is their story? Which baby brought them there that day? How old was their baby?
How can this many babies just die in their sleep? And I realized that someone had to find each of these babies lifeless in what was supposed to be a refreshing rest. And so it began - for each one of these families - this sudden whirlwind of disbelief and doubt. That paralizing reality. I knew with my brain that I was not the only one - but being there made my heart agree. This and the balloon release were my favorite parts.

I have such a blessing for a family - for making sure my girls were taken care of on a very emotional day. For dropping everything else and coming to show their support - for the donations they received, as well as their own for SIDS, for standing together for us every step of the way, I could go on and on.......I just love them.

Brenda and Stacy - Crack me up.

I got to meet so many friendly, great people. The whole day was an enormous blessing!

I Laughed So Hard I Cried.

2008-08-21T20:29:00.000-07:00

Click on the picture for a zoom-in. It is so me. :)

Sleepy Head

2008-08-20T04:11:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling with sleep. There. I said it.
Scenario 1: I have too much to do during the day that by the time night comes, I feel like sitting at my craft desk to have some down time - or putzing around the house putting it in somewhat of an order. Some Amie time. Recompose myself and think about the day and what tomorrow's day will bring. the problem with this is that I feel a little sleepy and finally look at the clock and it says something like 2:38 am. And I think Oh! Harry will be up in 2 1/2 hours. I better go to bed. The kids will be up in 4 1/2 hours. then when I wake up I am reminded of the morning Andy died and opening my eyes and seeing him already gone. Hear a child awake and I think "oh no - what did I miss?"

Scenario 2: I decide to go to bed on time (10). But I lay in bed and twiddle my thumbs, pick on Harry, or count all the shiny mirror things scattered on my ceiling. Usually end up crying. This is the perfect condition to lay in bed and think about "my feelings". Ugh. I, quite honestly, try to stay busy enough that this won't happen. Most often I think about Andy. What I should have/could have done. But where he is. And how hard some days are. Women's emotions + Sleeping husband = trouble.

I have been waking up with Harry for 2 whole days, and I can actually see a progress in my house! But sometimes, I long for sleep. A good night's sleep with no crying. No having to hold back emotions. No nightmares. No helpless feeling when I open my eyes in the morning. Then I read this today.

Proverbs 20:13 Do not love sleep or you will grow poor;
stay awake and you will have food to spare.

And you know how I like food to spare. that means more cooking and baking. and you can't beat that.

SIDS Walk

2008-08-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hello, all.

I am taking part in a SIDS walk on Saturday, August 23rd in Mason City . As I'm sure you know, my son died of SIDS in January at just 6 weeks old, and I think this is a great opportunity to raise money for SIDS research.

I am so excited to meet other SIDS parents in person and celebrate the lives of our babies, and come together to help save all the babies we can! I have attached a link to the organization’s website in case you would like more information regarding the walk:

http://www.iowasids.org/Events/WalkInfo.htm

If you would like to make a donation, you may send me a check made payable to The Iowa SIDS Foundation. Every little bit helps, but certainly don’t feel obligated to do so. I will be taking any donations with me on Saturday; however I can forward anything after Saturday directly to the foundation. I would be more than happy to pick up any donations as well!

You can e-mail me at IowaMother@yahoo.com with any questions! Thank you so much!!!

Vacation Truths

2008-08-16T23:26:00.001-07:00

We were on vacation this week! Thank you, Mom and Dad!

*Sandcastles rock. And becoming a sand mermaid is even better - but requires quite the bath afterwards.
*Cinnamon Bun creamer tames down the gas station coffee taste. I kept it close.
*Dunkin' Donuts Decaf causes caffeine withdrawals - is that spelled the same as a bank transaction? Whatever.
*Life vests do not prevent children from sticking their face in water and breathing anyway.
*There is nothing like a warm fire on a breezy evening and a gooshy marshmallow.
*A jetski can indent if it hits the dock just right.
*An 18 month old little girl can walk right into the metal bottom of a ping pong table and have a lifetime scar - (let's hope not)
*Boys pick on girls when they are away from work for too long.
Naptime is negotiable.
*It's time for Mom to get rid of her wedding gift crock pot. I have her name for Christmas..........
*1 cent tootsie rolls and 5 cent gummies really do still exist.
*No rules for a week can do things to a kid....especially damaging a week before school starts.
*My dad bought a Wii. and Mom let him....meaning.....didn't make him take it back to the store for a full refund.
*"I have to go potty" means NOW.
*Scrapbooking stores make me grin.
*Family is lovely.

And the laundry starts........
And the SIDS walk is in one week.........

Dog Treats

2008-08-07T21:48:00.000-07:00

Went outside today and found my 18 month old eating Sadie's dog food. Then Olivia was dropping the pebbled food through a hole in the top of the porch swing landing on her brother's head.

Went back in the house for about 20 minutes, and I kept hearing the door opening and a bag rustle and door opening again. So after the third or fourth time, I asked them what they were doing. "Oh, just giving Sadie a dog treat."

"Okay. Just not all at once, okay?"

"Okay" and then seconds later in a somber voice "I have your meal, Prisoner."

Smile and shake my head - could have been keeping Sadie hostage, or feeding the treats to Stacy - hard to tell.

Greetings

2008-08-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

I have been spending most extra minutes I have in front of my craft desk. I am making greeting cards! :) LOVE it! and with glue sticks 22 cents per 2-pack, I'm getting by pretty cheap my friends.

I will be selling these cards in a craft show. I'd like to bundle them in 10-packs. So in that 10, we have:

uplifting
anniversary/wedding
2thank you
2birthday
celebrate/enjoy
sympathy
get well
just a hello
congratulations
graduation

doesn't add up to 10, I know.
now for holidays.....separate holidays greeting pack? My question to you is:

What cards would most likely use all of - give me your perfect 10 pack!

Back to James we go.

2008-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Who are the peacemakers? There has been some debate. I would like to go back to work in an office. Harry would like to be away from his job - and be home. We both have guilt of Andy's death. He wishes he would have been here, and I was here but was unable to save him.

Not a whole lot of people can grasp this idea, nor do I expect them to. Would I be okay going back to work? My inadequate feelings say YES. Would I make as much money as my husband does? Minus child support, maybe. We would make it. He would still work a little - fixing cars or eBay or work-at-home type things....honestly, he is incabable of Not working. It's just not in him. But there is plenty of lack-of-housework around here that he could catch up for me. :)

Harry is a great daddy. The one God said I belong with, and my perfect match. And in this whirlwind that is passing, we can both agree on a crazy idea. One that not many understand. However, we both feel this situation would be submissive to God. Not many people believe in the ways of the Word anymore. These worldly views on how a household is run is rubbish, my friends. No, there's not much in the bible about men staying home with his kids. Or about women leaving the home - to an office - to provide for her families needs. I get that. And he won't be perfect at staying at home - and I won't be perfect working outside the home. It will require helping each other.

Harry has been looking for stay-at-home work since I've known him. And long before that, I'm sure. He loves what he does, but there's something that calls him elsewhere. And by me being his wife, his helper, maybe I can help - and we both do what we think we are being called to do. Not many doors and windows have opened, but there are plenty closing! And there is one opening right around the corner, I'm quite sure. Marriage is TEAMwork, and as we became One that day - we are in this for the long haul - helping each other through on the path leading to eternity, whether it is here or there.

Where do we belong from 6am to 5 pm? To Be Determined. How important is acceptance and their understanding from others when you are going where God tells you to go? I guess both Harry and I have some learning to do in the near future - good thing we can do it together, though.

Packing

2008-07-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

Went to Minnesota last weekend and had my parents take over the whole parenting bit. :) But when I pack for such a weekend, my bags are ready at LEAST 24 hours before we leave - minus toothbrush and things we will use up until the time we leave, of course.

So this weekend we are going to Keokuk. So bring on the laundry! And. Today. I. Pack. For. Six.

And if something - ANYthing is forgotten . . . guess who's fault it is - MOM's! And to the store we will go. . . within reason.

"Just In Case" is my packing method. lol, I am an overpacker. Just in case it rains, we will need ______. And just in case we go out at night, we will need _______. Oh, and it will probably be hot most days, so we will probably need 3 short outfits. And you have to plan for a couple spills on those 3 outfits, so we might just need to bring a couple more. Bandaids JIC, check. Medications JIC, check. Something to do if we ever get bored JIC, check. Swimwear including swim diapers and floaties JIC, check. Gardening and cardmaking magazine for the ride down and back JIC, check. Snorkel gear JIC we see some dolphins and rare fish in Iowa, check.

I Love James!

2008-07-25T03:58:00.000-07:00

No, no - it's nothing like that.

1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

We had this verse read at Andy's funeral - and it still pierces my heart. Pure joy in the midst of all this? Amazing....

1:15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Gardening gives me special insight on full-grown.....SIN can be full-grown. I remember being there.

1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Slow to become angry. So, when my girls are slapping each other back and forth I should be slow to get angry. And when I have heard this argument of "he/she's not helping me pick up!" "She's looking at me!". Slow, slow, slow.

I could live in the world of James - he just really "got" this whole deal.....fluent, I know. My favorite book of the bible - james. You're lucky I just posted about the first chapter. :)

Laundry Day

2008-07-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

So, Darin comes into the laundry room today and hands me his pj pants. "Here. Can you wash these?" These - as in specifically that one pair of pants.

Slowly answer "Why...?"
"Oh, (shrug) uhhh, because, ...." then holds them up to show me this brown smudge about the size of my one year old.

"What happened?"

"Well, I was eating one of those ice cream treats in bed last night and I fell asleep."

"Uhh, is it all over your bed too?"

"um, I dont' think so."

"Can you go check please?"

"Uhh.....yeah." Comes back down the stairs and says "Ya, the sheets are dirty too."

"Okay....................Would you bring those down for me to wash with the pants, too?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Just bought a new pack of paper plates last night and this morning as I went to put eggs onto a plate for all the little children, the plate package was already opened. I should have KNOWN! That Daddy.....owes me a new bottle of Shout!.

Who said the kids could eat ice cream in the living room and bedrooms when Daddy gives them a wink?? That would explain why my laptop keyboard was sticky last week......

Word of the Day

2008-07-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

Dictionary Word of the Day:

gamine

gamine \gam-EEN; GAM-een\, noun:

1. A girl who wanders about the streets; an urchin.

2. A playfully mischievous girl or young woman

How Big.

2008-07-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

Want to know how I really feel?

I miss him.

I miss his tiny cry and his little face and the body that used to fit into this onesie. I miss his fingers - his bent little pinkies. His toes. His squeaks as he nursed.

Friday night I cried myself to sleep. I laid his blue monkey hat next to me in bed where his head has rested next to me last. and I patted the comforter where his bottom always was. That would always relax him - then we could go back to sleep, and do it all over again when he got hungry ... in 3 hours. Held a teddy bear given to us for his funeral and cried and cried. Oh, how I miss my baby boy.

There is an anthill on the surface of his grave. And I watch, wondering how cold it is underneith. And oh, how I want to dig!! Did I wrap him warmly enough? He has a book and a webkinz just in case. And then I laugh for obvious reasons....a webkinz? and he wouldn't be reading a board book about heaven - he's THERE. And I close my eyes every time I go see him and ask God to take us. Come back for us, Lord. Come back soon. What should i do with this anthill in the meantime? How dare they - that's where my son is. He doesn't like bugs, either. If only I could just hold him for another day. Feel him wiggle, feel him warm, with no embalming fluid smell. Like mass-produced plastic. Ugh. But his beautiful little hand was perfect all the way from birth through burial. That didn't change a bit.

At the cemetery, there is a gravestone that has a worn look to it. Son of ______ Born and Died August 27, 1890. A lamb carved into the top. No flowers. And I look back at my son's stone with 4 boquets around it, pull a pretty arrangement from the ground, and place it next to this baby's stone. And I stand there and think - near 100 years ago, his mother stood in this very spot - asking God "why?". Why my baby? Crying over her son, and pouring her heart out - just as I was that day. And now, I bet she's with him again. And his stone sits unvisited, just as Andy's will be in 100 years. And just as I will be with him again.

I am going to be honest. I am haunted. Haunted by thoughts of Andy's death, finding him that morning when I opened my eyes. Pale and blue and cool when I touched him - wondering what on earth had just happened. Holding him so tightly - knowing I had never been so out of "situational control" in my whole life. He was perfectly fine 4 hours ago. CPR, Ambulance, Investigators, Questions, Funeral Arrangements, Burial, Gravestone Design. Something I never dreamed about when I went back to sleep after nursing that morning.

I don't quite know if I should be writing all this tonight, but I am just going to. If I don't hear my children for a few hours in the night, my heart sinks, and I stand at their door terrified to go into the room, and seeing flashes of what I might find. I walk in and stare at their bodies laying there until I see movement. Sometimes I will shake them a little just to see them respond. Hold a finger under their nose to feel their warm breath. And I wonder when I will stop.

I see potential dangers in a whole new light. There are movies that people see flash pictures of the future - that kind of thing. That is exactly how it happens. A close up shot of the danger, then them finding that danger, accident, dying, pain, arrangements, burial, and finding heaven ...unintentionally. Only it's not predicting anything - or helping - it's haunting. Although Andy died in his sleep, I see my other kids in accidents as well as sleeping. Or in pain - and I am unaware. I feel unaware of this life we live. and out of control. And every day I have to make a choice to submit and watch what He can do. Because if I didn't have that every morning when I walk into the girls' room, I wouldn't have anything.

I expected that God knew how He fit into the box I made for Him. Turns out, I don't think it was His favorite place to be. And He shouts - I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END. But I LOVE you. Come and get to know me better. That coffee you are drinking - I created that. Those raspberries you are going to pick today - I made those. And me, I can rationalize that I will see Andy again, and I understand God's faithfulness and LOVE...but my little brain just can't get around this idea.....who is He? He gives and takes away ... but my heart will choose to say .... Lord, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME. In these storms of this crazy world - I want to cling to you, because that is the absolute only thing that I am sure about anymore. He is the only thing I am sure of.

No, I don't know how or why He works, but He is there, and always will be. And He LOVES piddly little me. Enough to tell me that I need to DISCOVER Him again. And that is where I am.

Define Weeds.

2008-07-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

My boquet of flowers sitting on my table came from the ditch. That's right, the ditch! :)

Queen For A Day!

2008-07-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

I went to a women's conference at our church a couple months ago. There was a chance to nominate someone to receive queen for a day (spa day). I was overwhelmed by the nominations and the sweet, sweet words that were so selflessly given. Everyone in the room wanted to bless another with this day, and quite honestly, I felt a little guilty up there receiving this wonderful package. A spa day wasn't exactly "me".

1. Hair done however I wanted! My sister has always done my hair - since I can remember school pictures. I have only been to a salon once for me - for a wedding that I was a bridesmaid in.

2. Massage! My love languages are words and touch - so the whole "touchy thing" had me a little freaked out - being alone in a room not wearing much and touching going on??? Uhhh.... I had never done it - I am the one that gives the massages, not receives them - I used to rub my mom's feet for 10 cents. :)

3. Nails! LOL - I do NOT have pretty nails, blogging friends. What on earth would I do with a manicure? I was quite sure it should have been someone else. :)

4. Lunch with my friends. Now THAT I can do!

So here is the manicure. I had a GREAT time - this lady was very nice, we talked a lot about Andy and about the tornado disasters. She advised me to use a nail strengthener - LOL. Okay, okay.

Then we went to my favorite place ever to eat - a cute diner downtown - I am very partial to this place ........ I used to work here and LOVE it!! This is me and my sister, Wendy - she rocks.
And we met T and Mary (last post was September 2006! My blog slacker.) there - they are awesome - and we had such relaxing conversation....I just love them!! It made it a girlS day out!

Now for the massage I was so nervous about.....this was the room I was awarded! After I was ready, the massage therapist came in and laid it out there - "We can sure talk if you want to. I won't bother you - unless you want to chat. You can let me know if it is too much pressure, or too little, and feel free to ask any questions." :) :) thank you - I had no idea. It. Was. Awesome. We talked a little, but it wasn't weird at all - she was wonderful! :)
Then I cheated a little bit. I sent my sister to get her hair done. You see, she is a hairdresser and always cuts her own hair, colors her own hair, and does everyone elses. So she colored and cut my hair before our spa day, and she also got a cut and color! I was SOOO happy to see her SIT IN THE CHAIR! lol, she's the best!

I had the best day! And completely felt like a queen and a half. :) So thank you so much to my blogger buddies and you, visitor, ;) that were there and sent in a little pink slip for me - I. Love. You. And I had an amazing time!

P.S. I have not worn nail strengthener....I should really get on that....3 more broke today. :)

Smile!

2008-07-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Virtual Garden Tour!

2008-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

Corn (which may get some enhancements this year), Jalepono Peppers, Squash Varieties (which is where the circle fence and wire fence will allow them to grow), Brussel Sprouts (quietly anticipating this new veggie), Eggplant, Cucumbers, Yellow and Zucchini Squash, Green and White Beans, Asparagus Beans (?), Beets, Turnips, Radishes, Carrots, Onions (which are looking VERY sad....didn't come up last year either....?hmm...maybe my husband is throwing root killer on my onions when I'm not looking??), Okra, and 40 Tomato Plants (big beef, normal popular :), yellow, cherry, roma, and who knows what else - it's written down somewhere...)

6 Black Mulberry trees - we have frozen 20 cups already in a few short days...

Which results in this.....

These are starting to show their pretty faces.....Still trying to find some seedless sweet grapes to plant next to these!

And my yummy red raspberries are popping up again!! Yay!

10 apple trees, 2 pear trees, rhubarb........

Now HERE is the question!!! Can this land feed my family for a whole year?? Minus meat and dairy - cuz I am not ready to commit to a goat yet. Or a cow. Or a sheep. Maybe some chickens for eggs and meat....but we'll see about that! Do I do some farmers market this year, or can and freeze my little heart out to see how self-reliant we actually are?

I am not just saying this.....if you want some yummy fresh fruits and veggies, PLEASE call me - You pick it - you keep it! THIS IS YOUR INVITATION!

ONE WORD - MeMeMeMe

2008-07-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Sarah at Life in the Parsonage tagged us for this one-word MeMe...ONE WORD!! So here's the rules: All of the answers must be just one word, that's right - one. Now where is that thesaurus?

1. Where is your cell phone? Table
2. Your significant other? Comfortable
3. Your hair? Undone
4. Your mother? Advisor :) (Tee-Hee)
5. Your father? Goofball
6. Your favorite thing? Crafting
7. Your dream last night? Vivid
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee!
9. Your dream/goal? Self-discipline
10. The room you’re in? Messville
11. Your church? Addicting
12. Your fear? Childless
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Heaven.? :)
14. Where were you last night? Here
15. What you’re not? Confident
16. Muffins? Nah
17. One of your wish list items? Tubal-Ligation
18. Where you grew up? Iowa
19. The last thing you did? Maidsearch
20. What are you wearing? Coffee
21. Your TV? Channelless
22. Your pets? Tied
23. Your computer? Battery-challenged
24. Your life? Reviewing
25. Your mood? Behind
26. Missing someone? Andy
27. Your car? Vacuum-challenged
28. Something you’re not wearing? Bells
29. Favorite store? Clearance
30. Your summer? mosquito-ey
31. Like(love) someone? Always
32. Your favorite color? Pink
33. Last time you laughed? Yesternight
34. Last time you cried? Morning
35. Who will re post this? Puh....

This was SUPER hard...ONE word! If I can do this...I can do anything *wink wink*
I'd like to tag T and Angela.

Flood and a Half

2008-06-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

My bathroom sink looks a little like this when my daughter washes her hands for the millionth time....water filling over the sink onto the counter, and starting to fill up the floor....only on an amazingly smaller level.

Call Me... Phone Man

2008-06-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

Favorites
Food: Probably, um, pickles.
Drink: Blueberry Mountain Dew
To Do: Drive 4-wheelers
Stuff: Guitars
Color: Black
Season: Summer, because it means when school gets out!! (I'll take 2 more please...2 more exclaimation points) !!
Movie: Scooby Doo
Day: Sunday, cuz.
*anything else?
"That...I like chicken!"

Here is Darin in all his glory. Just like his daddy - taking things apart!

Crow and the Kitten

2008-06-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

My dad sent me this - check it out! :)

http://charliephillips.net/Video/CrowandCat/tabid/800/Default.aspx

Catilyn's Mommy is Relieved Now. :)

2008-06-05T21:28:00.001-07:00

Catilyn Renee Wedeking was born on May 27, 2008 at 12:01pm! 6 pounds, 6.2 ounces and 19.5 inches long. And She. Is. Beautiful. Congratulations Chris and Christi!!!!!

Passion

2008-06-04T13:04:00.000-07:00

I want to share with you an e-mail I wrote last night. I thought of anything else to blog about today, but this is all that's on my heart. So here it is.

*****************
Do you REMEMBER when everything just made sense all of a sudden with me and my life was transformed and my nose was in that bible every spare minute? I remember VERY WELL a few times that you asked me about becoming luke-warm in the Lord. That an "experienced Christian" knows what to do and say, and the passion fades. A few months ago, I had finally decided how big God was - and in my box he sat. Then Andy - out of nowhere our lives AND that pointless little box were shattered. And I found myself clinging to Him again. But, I will tell you this - I fear my routine, and I fear that box being glued back together for Him to sit in. I fear. That is the LAST place I want to be again, and I sit here and cry now as I read this because I am already beginning to tell Him how big He really is. What. Is. My. Problem?

Stir it up in my heart, a passion for Your name. This is no longer a "dry spell". It is my problem. Trying to honor God in dirty diapers and dishes, gardening and Windex, Barney books and responsibilities. I guess my question is, how do I get that passion I so vividly remember from 2002? Journaling and reading The Book have a way of keeping my heart "interested", but. I. want. fire!
*********************

Picture Wednesday

2008-05-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

Country = Bugs. I saw a sticker in Wal-Mart (harry calls it the evil empire) that said "Smile Now, Pay Later". That's what these little ants are doing. Unknowingly, just a little bit of this can wipe out their own people. Just because they entered MY house. (So, I would represent Satan I guess - in this story). Whether it be us entering into gossip (the leading terro for woman - little goes a LONG way), profanity, disobedience, or a general terro lifestyle....They entered my house and I got 'em. It looked great for them, having a good time out of the rain, with plenty of sugar laying around - feasting time....tomorrow there may be one or two left, then none the next day. Share the terro, get 'em all. This has been big for me - these ants have actually done me a favor this spring. Do I really want to infect my brothers and sisters, husband and children because I have a down day? I could always find some way to be an encouragement - obedience.

Let me introduce you to....Mud Man. Rolling around after the storms in his underwear. Can't beat that.

These are our closest neighbors.......zoomed in.

So many nights I stare at this sky with all different colors and think "Lord, how beautiful. And you must look at this like I look at my first scrapbooking pages. As if to say they are okay, but look WHAT ELSE I made? I can't wait to see."

and here is the trouble trio.....no, there's not a frog in the garbage can, or any bugs. It's empty. but awefully fun to stare at. Harry, so many days I completely take you for granted, picking at the things I would change about you. So sorry. This comes to mind now because I look at this picture in two ways. One - what a fun dad, joining in with the girls looking into an empty garbage can because they get a kick out of it. And two - why are they staring into it? Do they think the new garbage bag magically appears? Get on it, children! :)

LOVE when I catch these two doing the same things at the same times. Like holding their spoons with their right hand, and eating yogurt with their left....meaning no spoon. And yogurt all. over.

I think I will be okay now.....for the record.

Forlorn

2008-05-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

for·lorn

/fɔrˈlɔrn/ [fawr-lawrn] –adjective
1. desolate or dreary; unhappy or miserable, as in feeling, condition, or appearance.
2. lonely and sad; forsaken.
3. expressive of hopelessness; despairing: forlorn glances.
4. bereft; destitute: forlorn of comfort.

In her defense, she has had 4 back teeth coming in for the last couple weeks. But, oh my. Not in her defense, how does "the teeth excuse" explain this face for anyone except Mom and Dad?

SING with me,

Oooooh it's Corn, Corn, Corn

That makes you feel forlorn

on the FARM, on the FARM...

Oh it's Corn, Corn, Corn

That makes you feel forlorn

on the hinky dinky double dee FARM

Sadie

2008-05-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

So, we live out here in the middle of nowhere, and I was getting tired of the skunks and the FEAR of going out into that open night to get something out the van because I'm that much of a chicken. Wanted a dog to shoo animals and (ahem, the cats - Harry, pretend you didn't read that) and mean people, you get the point. I am a scardy dork and just needed a dog. But what do I want in a dog? Let's see (this was my list of what to look for in a dog). Doing a LIST.

1. Doesn't sniff butts

2. Doesn't beg for food
3. If you don't want to pet it, it goes away.

4. Chases animals away (and the gray cat)

5. Won't jump up on anyone

6. Good with kids!!!

7. Won't run off all the time
8. Is nice to visitors

9. Doesn't sniff their butts either

10. Won't knock my kids down, and scare them

11. Older dog (out of the puppy-biting stage)

12. Can't be an indoor dog

13. No Black Dogs

14. Hunting capabilities

So, a friend called and said there was a dog in the credit union swap sheet, so we called and went to look at her. Beautiful dog, 4 years old, lived out on a farm before with 1 and 3 year old children, and parents are divorcing (and I assume moving) so could not keep her. She was living in a heated garage all summer in town. It did not take long to decide we wanted her to join us out on the "rinky dinky double dee farm". Asked what he wanted for her, and he says "nothing, I just want to see her go to a good home". WOO! Do you KNOW how much dogs are?? Humane Society had over 100 on their adoption price, I was happy. Sadie is her name, and we went to Wal-Mart to grab some quick things (like food and a chain, so she wasn't exactly FREE). Took her home and put her on one of those cables staked into the ground. She was on it for a day, then walked her around the perimeter of the yard so she would know boundaries, and *note: I'm sure she was holding back on commenting on how big of a DORK I was because she knew this farm business well. Let her off the leash the next day, and she hasn't been back on since. Has not run off once, goes on point (which means she's a HUNTER, hehe - maybe her and I can go get some pheasant), GREAT with the kids, just say she meets ALL my criteria for what I want in a dog! Here she is, she has become part of our family very quickly....and have smelled no more skunks around here! And the gray cat is no longer meowing for food at my door! I would like that cat better if she would let anyone pet her (for the record!).

And she takes a WHOLE lot of abuse by these two! They knock her down, pull her hair, and try to ride on her. We've had her for a month, and she has never bit or sniffed butts. :) She needed a place to RUN without restraint. Really, we have been great for each other.

Our Picnic Today. What a day.

2008-05-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is jelly above the middle name, not a glitch. :)

Meme...do they call it that for "me me"?

2008-05-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Mel tagged me.

my job is to think of 6 words or phrases that best describe me.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six-word memoir.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.

3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post.

4. Tag five more blogs with links.

5. Remember to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

so here we go..
Here are six words/phrases that best depict who I am:

1. Musical

2. Crafty

3. Caretaker

4. Organized
(I didn't say it couldn't be an organized mess, but I know where it is!)

5. Cheap :)

6. Prepared

I know, I know, my vocabulary is so well-developed. I tag.... Angela, Tina, Sarah, Chris, and Heth. Sorry if you have already done it and I tagged you! If that's you, please disregard number 4 and 6 of my blog. :)

Only

2008-04-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm standing in front of my kitchen sink doing dishes looking out the window, deciding what to make for supper. I glance up at the clock on the wall and it states that it's a little after 2:00. And I think "*gasp* I *only* have 4 hours until we leave for church".

Only 4 hours. Puh.

Heavenly

2008-04-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

Remember this? I admit I have taken the "color" thing to new levels about every year.

Oh, COME ON! How beautiful is that?!?! Color makes me happy. Not like you couldn't tell or anything.

My Week.

2008-04-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

Monday
10:00 katie comes to babysit
11:00 child support hearing
6:00 school carnival meeting at high school

Tuesday
9:00 bible study
Sister has appt. to see if she has her baby!!! I will also have
her daughter sometime this week (hopefully this week)
2:00 katie comes to babysit
4:00 Harry & I appt. with Anne

Wednesday
I would LOVE to take a friend out this day.
We will see if it works out!
6:30 church

Thursday
5:30 leave for work
6:00 carnival meeting (obviously won't make that one)
Have my nephew overnight

Friday
3:10 get Olivia and Darin for weekend
3:30 get my nephew back to his dad
5:30 - 8 school carnival (finally!)

Saturday
2am wake up
3am go to church to work the lock in for the kids
7:30 garage sales (city-wides if I can make it to that location)
church clean-up day

Sunday
8:30 church
5:00 bring kids back to .... town

So this makes 22 times into "town" one-way this week. 20 minutes each. How much is gas, again? I like the weeks I can sit and catch up on laundry, have a cup of coffee during nap time, have supper ready when Harry gets home...you know. But if I didn't have weeks like this one, would I really appreciate the relaxed ones?

Ahh, I love it! Just right!

2008-04-17T10:20:00.000-07:00

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down.
Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times!

You are very comfortable in your own skin.
You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide.

Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic.
You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental.

You should live: Somewhere warm

You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofshoeareyouquiz/
So, what kind of shoe am I again? None? Go me!

Meme!

2008-04-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve been tagged! And the rules are…
1) link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by linking their names as well as links to their blog
4) let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

At Ann's request, I would be happy to share 7 weird random things about myself

1. I eat everything in twos. 2 jellybeans (LOVE the coconut, but can't stand the buttered popcorn flavor - and they are WAY TOO similar in color! - Result: Mmm, uhh, ack, quick swallow.), 2 bites of hot dog at a time, 2 m&ms. Same color, 2 blue, 2 red, and the one yellow, one brown, and one orange left goes to Harry.

2. DO NOT go in circles around me. E.V.E.R. Drives me nuts. If I walk to the left of you, I will be going by you the same way when I leave, so there is nothing that has gone in a full circle around me. if I fail, it makes me twitch - and explaining that to people makes me sound like the biggest fruitcake of the holiday. Tina. I don't say this to egg you on. Don't be showing up Sunday and running around me. You will pay. :)

3. I am smitten with action movies, but hardly can stand them anymore because of the language and nudity. There are a few I have found that are great, but it's rare. LOVE the theatrical version and unrated version where you can choose to leave the junk out of the movie. GREAT thinking, people. Love Bruce Willis - he looks like my brother a little - same mannerism.

4. I adore coffee. But not black coffee. I like to to buy flavored creamer - it's the only way to drink my only addiction. They are all growing on me, but Carmel Vanilla .... The Bomb so far.

5. Organizing by color makes me feel peaceful. :) Seriously.

6. I long to be older....Oh, do I long. 26, as I know I've said before is a party age. That's not me. I party with my toddlers, not the college pub crowd.

7. I grew up a "city....(town) girl", but I live out here with the sunsets, corn and bean fields, bugs (EWW), and farm equipment as of last year and LOVE IT. We just got Sadie, a 4 year old golden lab yesterday. "That's all I have to say about that."

I tag 2 people that have disappeared lately! Angela and Natalie

Gentle, Strong, and ... Surprising??

2008-04-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

How many of you KNOW that we have our husbands figured out? Let's all say a "ME!!!" together. I know that when Harry gets ready for bed, he frowns, smacks his lips, puts his hands up a little ways and say "what do we got to eat?". Something cold, of course. Let me make you a verbal menu, sweetheart.

Or if I notice he is frowning more than usual I can ask "Are you okay?" and I will immediately get a response with a bigger frown: "Yeah, are YOU okay?" LOL, that's a classic. Pegged.

*Note: forgive me for all the punctuation errors here and run-ons, but it happened like this in my head.

So, last week on a Saturday I was going to be helping a friend, Mary, serving food at a basketball game for our church. I went to garage sales that morning, and then came home to hang out for a few hours before leaving for the night. My husband was extra attractive to me all day, and I admit, I had to let him know how I felt about him. He had this glow about him - wow, this man is gorgeous. :) And he's MINE! Little did I know where this glow was coming from. It wasn't me imagining it - it was excitement all bottled up.

Almost 5:00, have to be there by 5:30, so I started getting wipes filled up, diapers, bottles/sippy cups to go, you know...be prepared for toddlerhood ...... outside the house. Oh, Stacy still needs socks and shoes on. Then a friend of mine, Lisa, shows up with her daughter, and I ask her if she was "just in the neighborhood" - which....NO. ONE. is. just. in. the. neighborhood. out. here. Middle of nowhere - seriously. So here I am trying to think of a polite way to kick her back out the door because we have to be leaving....like now... - oh no - she's taking her shoes off....ahh, wait! Don't take those off just yet...we have to leave....Stacy needs socks and shoes, still....all these thoughts in the midst of small talk.

Then Harry pops up behind me and starts pulling me out the door. Wait- the kids! What?! He's dressed up for a basketball game. Do I have to wash nacho cheese dip out of that outfit tomorrow? "Ahh, do I need to change?" Lisa says "bye!" with a big smile on her face and takes Stacy in the living room to look out the window - at the middle of nowhere, and I am still worried about finishing the diaper bag packing.
"What is going on here - what just happened? Do I need to call Mary?"
"No, Mary's in on it. Here, put this on." as he hands me a bag with a dress, shoes, and matching undergarments, because that's just a complex I have. Okay, no basketball game I assume. This man will not tell me anything. AT. ALL! We played 60 questions on the way there, and I finally realized that he was telling me nothing of the truth as he answered these. I think it was the one he answered about "we're going to a Motley Crew concert" that I finally picked up on the fact that this was all bull hunkey. He told me about 10 times to just sit back and enjoy the evening. But me, being this planning fruitcake, has to have it all figured out before it happens. HELLO!

We get to a nice restaurant, very nice meal, good conversation, relaxing, glass of wine....did I mention no kids? You can actually hear each other talk quietly! lol Then he takes me to UNI - Walked in, this is the Waterloo/CF Symphony. Now, I LOVE things like this and my husband planned this whole day just for us....well, me really. Made all the phone calls, worked everything out, kept it a secret - and I knew this man.....he baffled me.

I know he reads these, so honey, I just want to let you know how absolutely special you are and it's times like these that I really realize how much I take you for granted. Thank you, thank you for putting our marriage on the top priority list. It would be so easy after Andy's death for us to fall apart, and by you taking the extra time lately and pouring it into us really shows me that we can come through this together, holding hands. I love you so, so much.

Miss Bimbo

2008-04-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

I have a great idea. Let's teach our little girls (9 and up) to think about multiple jobs, multiple boyfriends, sexy underwear, boob jobs, diet pills, and cosmetic surgery. Oh wait, someone's already been on it. Have you people heard about this?!

MissBimbo.com makes me want to live way out in the country with oil lamps. We have the first part down already, I guess. Can you get wireless internet along with oil lamps, or don't those two mesh together?

Along with the french kiss game, this game gives out attitude points, people. Ugh, check it out and get educated - it's coming to a home near you!

My chef of a 2 year old.

2008-03-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

Tiffany got out a big pot today and wanted to "egg, egg, cook". So I got out a little omlet pan for her. By herself, she sprayed the pan, cracked the eggs (she likes to sqeeze them, so we have to review to tap it on the counter first), 2 small eggshell pieces easy to take out, picked out a spatula and stirred it up, I added some salt and got a "Oh, thank you Mommy", then added her handful of cheese. Holy cow, when did she grow up. No, she didn't eat it. She served it to Stacy, who gladly accepted. She is very careful about getting burned, too. It's just built into her - I better take some cooking classes before she starts teaching ME how to cook.

Cleaned out our raspberry patch yesterday - I feel spring coming on!

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

Tiffany saw this huge bunny walking down the sidewalk and she darted toward him. This is a sprint, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Happy Easter to you, Andy. We sent you off a balloon today!

I was just standing here doing dishes. No, I'm not sure how long my house will smell like this little guy. Aren't you supposed to be hybernating??

But, it's a true sign that spring will feel like spring any time now. No, really, any time now. I'm super excited for a garden this spring!

Dear Andy,

2008-02-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

1. You were perfect.
2. I have cried more tears for you than I knew I had.
3. I. Miss. You. Oh, I miss you.

I love you always,
Mom

Lovely Store Guide

2008-01-11T04:01:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say... we have a couple local grocery stores here, and I visit both. But on my way out of the store that has the bus (or maybe it's the front of a big yellow minivan) attached to the cart for the kids . . . I found a STORE GUIDE! This little guide maps out all the isles and rows with locations of food printed on them. As I make my grocery list, I write it out according to wherever I am shopping that day (aka whoever has great sales items). So the tuna helper and juice and canned foods always seem to be jumbled because those are the middle-of-the-store isles, and I don't have that much memory span in my little brain. But NOW there's a GUIDE - wanna know how this whole thing goes down? I'll tell you.

As the week goes on, I have a little spot in my daily planner on my counter that is made for grocery lists. As I notice something getting low, or just plain non-existant in my home and I NEED (note: sometimes NEED means M&Ms or Twizzlers if the price is right) it, I jot it down on my little list. Then the morning of the Big Adventure Out, I make sure I have gone through the sales ads, sit down with a fresh paper and write my list out in order according to store. But now there is no gap in my list. And let me tell you, when you're chugging through the isles trying to focus on which groceries you needed with 5 children needing your attention at that specific moment in time, you lose a little more sanity. So thank you, very very much for your store guide. I can now venture out with the children much easier than before, because I can weave swiftly up and down the isles and quickly grab things off the shelf IN ORDER without skipping a beat. Sure beats stopping at the end of each isle to check things off my list, then forgetting something and have to backtrack 3 rows, then remember where I was. Did I mention it's impossible to do this with children - good thing we have Daddy for you guys? Have I expressed this ENOUGH??? THANK YOU FOR THE STORE GUIDE!!!

Title?

2008-01-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

How did this guy fit in my belly just a few short days ago??
And, here was our final Christmas picture this year. Pat-A-Cake works wonders!!

That's all for today - I have diapers to change.

Andy

2007-12-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

Andy Duane Whiteside joined us at 9:25 a.m. on Wednesday. 7 pounds 1 oz. and 19 1/4 inches tall. We will go home in the morning and watch the snow fall until Christmas. What a gift! I'll get some pictures on here soon.

I LOVE THE SMELL OF NEW BABIES!

Update

2007-11-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

So, it's been forever and a day, I know.

Does this make up for it?

My baby is walking...but the video wouldn't upload...sorry. It was a good one, too. :)

The cats wouldn't even eat my smokin' good side - so, it was chicken alfredo with no garlic bread - tsk, tsk.

I awoke at 3:20 am Friday to dive into this with Harry's cousins.

Baby #3 will officially arrive on December 19th at approximately 9:00 am (if not sooner).

And the kids got to have a bowlful of marshmallow Jell-O before breakfast last Saturday.

And I'm nesting..... b. a. d.

And I am 26 now. How embarrassing to say that.....for the record, I'd like to be thought of as 32. Please. 26 sounds like a kid. I hate it when people ask me my age, because 26 is a party age, isn't it? 28 is almost established, and 31 is established. So please, I beg you, don't say "oh, you're so young!" That may be the worst phrase for me to ever hear. The worst is when women I consider to be my friends say "I could be your mother". Ugh. Fine, I'll go to my room.

And I got through 6 1/2 hours last night without getting up to pee. Woo Hoo!

A Picture for You Today

2007-09-27T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was out picking apples minding my own business, and heard .... this ....

Nice, huh?

And then I heard a little chicken say that the sky is falling - I just may believe him today.

Super Cool

2007-08-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

This incredible machine was built as a collaborative effort between the Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory and the Sharon Wick School of Engineering at the University of Iowa.

Amazingly , 97% of the machines components came from John Deere Industries and Irrigation Equipment of Bancroft Iowa ; yes, farm equipment!

It took the team a combined 13,029 hours of set-up, alignment, calibration, and tuning before filming this video but as you can see it was WELL worth the effort

It is now on display in the Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall at the University and is already slated to be donated to the Smithsonian.

My Top 20 Updates For You

2007-07-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

I have 5 loads of laundry waiting to be folded, and here I sit - in front of the computer. Why? Because I love you. Wait, there's more. I'm going to give you a little update by a list instead of rambling on about EVERYTHING, even though I know you're all speed-readers.

1. There were 6 gallons of milk in my fridge last week.
2. I get a weekend away with my husband ALONE in Colorado next weekend. Flying out Friday at 6:15am. NO children, wellll, almost no children. But no diapers and messes and bibs and nap time really means no children, doesn't it?
3. The mulching stage in the garden is almost complete. We were almost on time.
4. The dishes are also piling up quickly. I guess when I run out of plates or silverware I will get motivated enough.
5. We signed up for Netflix.
6. I have a lack of spiritual excitement lately.
7. I am in love with my new diaper bag.
8. I get to go scrapbooking Friday night!
9. I find that if I separate my daycare kids during nap time, they sleep for at least another hour and a half - how? Well, I asked them in a very casual moment in their day. It seems the younger one would wake up in the middle of nap time and jump on his brother. Amazingly, it wakes him up, and then down they both come to have their fruit snacks.
10. I have had 3 root beer floats this week.
11. I feel the beginning of an addiction for the smoothies at the local gas station - you know, the one that sells bananas? You have a choice of 3 flavors, grab it from the freezer, and put it under the blender thingy. Too good!
12. We have 10 apple trees.
13. I bought a cookbook an inch and a half thick with apple recipes. 25 cents....
14. I love garage sales.
15. I have 2 Christmas gifts wrapped already.
16. My husband has won once out of the last 2 weeks in our cribbage battles.
17. Bought a new cribbage board. Plastic. holds the pegs and cards inside when you fold it down in half. 10 cents
18. I just noticed where the fire extinguisher is just now. We've lived here 2 and a half months.
19. I also just noticed how many of these start with the word "I". Nooooo, it's not all about me! Where's your proof?
20. And my final update for you.....I smelled a skunk this morning. Harry just may feel like putting his second one to rest soon.

Nothing that would make Oprah, so that's good news, but since I've been an aweful blogger, there ya' go.

Wordless Wednesday - Sisters

2007-06-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

My Kissin' Girl

2007-04-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

Melts my heart. At naptime and bedtime, I sit next to Tiffany's crib and read a story from our Disney book. She usually falls asleep somewhere at the end. Her favorite thing to do as I'm reading, though, is poke her little head up and pucker up through the bars. So I give my baby a kiss, and she lays back down with her baby and her bottle with a little twinkle in her eyes.

I pray I never forget that.

Any Dad

2007-04-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Please visit www.IowaFathers.com for more information